Afraid to leave the house
I hate to hear what they say
But I guess it's true
Because I believe it all now too
They tell me I'm worthless
That I need to kill myself
What they don't know is that I'm close to doing that my own
I don't need their encouragement
I cut my wrist to show the pain that words cannot describe
To show how much i hate myself on my own body
They don't know I do it or that I starve myself and throw up hoping...

A razor down my wrist
As I give night one sweat last kiss
My room is dark, my music blasts
No one hears my sobs
I get lightheaded and feel my body hit the floor
My bones break...
I'm now so fragile, so small
I realize the blood now...
I'm in a puddle of it
For a moment I am terrified
But then I realize this is what I want...
To free everyone from me
To get away from this horrible place
My life is gone... I am free of...

My stomach twists with hunger.
But I don't care.
My mom said i could not cut.
What she does not know will not hurt her.
Only me.
I want to be free of this world.
I want to be home with my God.
I wonder why i have to stay here.
I can't do anything right.
I can't help people.
Can i please just leave?

I look happy right? Haha i think thats one of my biggest lies... I'm hardly ever happy.. I wear bright colors and a fake smile that no one can see through.... No one in my family knows that i starve myself... They dont know that i still cut... They think i stop months ago... I did try to stop but i can't.. I dont know if I'll ever be able to.. or if I'll ever be the same again... Right now my only hope is to be skinny and beautiful.. and then when i am that i will be able to stop cutting and that...