No meds... no extra help...
I'm gonna go under.

I had a very very nice time on my... 10 hrs / 100 kilometres with Ki. My only complaint is that I am now sunburnt again

Oh well, it was worth it xD

ok yeah sure i wanna kill myself, no one really cares!
Imean seriously! my friend Levi hatesme,my ex bf is a coke head,the guy i like lives in the usa.
And i really really just want to die, if you really give a fuck add me on msn.
hedly_angel_123@hotmail.com
Not that i think u do, whatever fuck it fuck life.

Tyler and I may sleep together soon
No, not sex, just sleep in the same bed...if we can not get caught. It wouldn't be a regular thing at all but I just love the idea of spending a night in his arms, nothing sexual or anything like that. We both have that fantasy.
It would be on this trip through the school but apparently they have 2 kids per room and no chaperones so we'd probably be able to work it out as long as we get paired with people who would help us out...and he's got...

My bf and I had our 1st "fight" today but it was a good thing. First of all, it wasn't serious, it was more of a playful argument, 2nd of all, it was over text. It was actually quite fun, more of flirting than fighting, him trying to convince me to sing for him and me refusing to let him hear me sing...but I do think it was good in several ways:
-it shows him that I can hold my opinion about something and fight for it, a side of me he hasn't really seen before (but seems to enjoy)...

(persons email) says:
hey steph.. how things? its (insert her name) just letting you know thanks for the left overs... me and (my abusive ex) have been going well for some time now.. thanks
Lee cal haile evally says:
wth?
(persons email) says:


I have no idea why she bothered to inform me. But... I ended up crying and telling my mother almost everything... she knows I think of his abuse every day.... she knows about the three TH suicide attempts that...

So yeah like I've said before, I don't really know if I'm in love just cause I don't have anything to compare it too. And we've only been together for like a month. But I'm considering the possibility that I love him. I said I love you once when saying good night (after he said it 1st) but still not 100% sure. I don't really regret saying I love him, I just don't know that it was the entire truth, but not a lie either.
But he's mentioned love many times. I think 3 times he's come out and said...

I'm meant to be signing the camp forms today, but I don't know if she'll let me go considering SIing with thoughts of suicide.
Marie, I doesn't want to lose you....

I'll lose me in the process... And then, not even Ki will be able to help shoo the clouds in my head away.

I wont be afraid to mix my alcohol with my pills... Even though I've been scared to due to House episodes..

It's a non-date. Meaning. Date but with only friendly intentions?

I don't know what to do... he's so nice but I get caught up on what to say. It's not easy anymore... A part of me is scared of letting slip that I am at risk of SI/Suicide.
I think we both have issues.
That still doesn't help me to know what to say...

Also, what to wear? It's so hot here I am going to be sweltering in my jeans... Ugh, just be normal Lee.
Any ideas what to wear, anyone?...