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Medical Mess and Other Life Updates (possibly a slight trigger for abuse in one spot/illness of a family member)

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Posted September 7th 2019 at 12:04 AM by Wheek!

I've been seeing a lot of doctors lately for a lot of different things, and none of them are really giving me any answers. It started last fall and has been a nonstop issue ever since.

Some of my providers have been concerned about my tachycardia, or too fast heart rate. I saw a cardiologist who had me on a monitor and said it's all anxiety, so I'm on a new medication that lowers the heart rate and also can have added benefits of helping me with my anxiety and helping prevent some of my migraines.

I recently saw an endocrinologist who I thought was pretty good. She wasn't concerned about the fact that I had high thyroid levels and wasn't convinced that I had hypothyroidism. She looked at my prolactin levels and wanted them retested because I either had a prolactinoma, which is a benign tumor on the pituitary gland that makes it spit out too much hormone which is causing my menstrual issues, or it's just that my body isn't tolerating my birth control well and I need an IUD because I'm currently on the highest level of hormones in my birth control pill they give to people of reproductive age

Well, my hormone levels are normal so, based on what she told me, I needed an IUD. So I called my gynecologist and she doesn't think that the IUD is right for me. Besides the difficulty she'd have inserting the IUD due to vaginismus, the birth control pill helps me regulate my moods at least a little bit so while I'm still a mess during my period, I'm not as much of one. She also said she's not concerned about my hormone levels. So, contradiction number 1.

I also saw a new medication person to hopefully manage my medication better. She requires bloodwork of all new patients to rule out any medical issues, which is fine with me. I appreciate that because it means she's being thorough. I showed her my previous bloodwork including my thyroid levels and she literally said "That's bullshit. You totally have hypothyroidism." She said my endocrinologist and other doctors aren't treating me right and aren't listening to me just because I'm young. She wants me to see a new endocrinologist and she called the office on the spot to say she wants me seen soon. So, contradiction number 2.She also ordered the routine bloodwork to recheck my thyroid levels and other stuff. The bloodwork bruised like a mofo, lol. Here's hoping it's worth it, but I have my doubts at this point.

One of my favorite professors thinks a lot of what I'm doing is self-induced and that maybe a part of me "wants" to be sick, and that really hurts. I understand that besides my migraines still being there and my menstrual issues a lot of my symptoms subsided over the summer, but they weren't gone completely. I hate that people are calling me crazy or thinking nothing is wrong with me. I'm not crazy, am I?

I don't know what to do with all these contradictions though!

The medication person also seems to think I have a trauma because I started self harming when I was in the 8th grade, and according to her people normally start self harming due to some sort of trauma that they're trying to gain control over and repress. She said eventually I should disclose that trauma to my therapist and try to work past it. But, I don't recall any trauma in the 8th grade, so unless I'm severely repression, that's not what's going on. I told her this though, so hopefully she won't bring it up again next week. Our main discussion was my medical history and her being convinced my thyroid is a mess anyway, LOL.

My father's having two heart valves replaced on September 13 at 5:45 in the morning. I'm scared he'll have complications and die, but I'm trying to push that aside.

DCF visited my sister and brother in law today. I guess my 6-year-old niece was acting up and he went to swat her on the butt but she moved on her bed and somehow he got her face. She had a mark next to her eye. From what my sister was saying my brother in law felt horrified over it and basically cried whenever he looked at her after. Someone at school saw the mark (which from what I'm told by my mother, it's small) and reported it to DCF. My sister and brother in law told them the whole story about my niece's huge temper. She had been trying to flip the TV over before that in a rage. In the past she'd ripped a cabinet door off and the hinge of her door is breaking because of how often she's slammed it. DCF said as long as her pediatrician sends documentation saying she's up-to-date on her physicals and such, and as long as they get her into therapy for her temper (mandatory), they will close her case 45 days after. I was scared when I heard DCF came because I didn't want to lose my niece. I am happy she ended up being required to go to therapy though, because honestly her temper is only getting worse and she's getting bigger. If they don't get it under control now, they may never.

Besides that, the semester just started up, so it's just trying to get through the year and graduate! Yeet.
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  1. Old Comment
    cynefin's Avatar
    You’re not crazy at all. Keep seeing as many doctors and people as you can, until you find someone who will listen and work with you without contradicting your other doctors. You will find someone. Not knowing what’s going on medically is rough and I hope you are able to get some answers soon.

    I can’t believe your niece is six already! I will be thinking about you and your dad with his operation.

    Best of luck to you this semester! I bet you’ll do great.
    Posted September 7th 2019 at 03:01 AM by cynefin cynefin is offline
  2. Old Comment
    eaty's Avatar
    The worst thing is having someone suggest that this is all in your head. You aren't crazy, sometimes you do deal with doctors who contradict other doctors, and you end up feeling like "What the hell am I suppose to believe right now?!?!" So keep pushing for answers, trying to figure out what is wrong and the best treatment. Sadly sometimes it can take a while, but when you find the answer, it makes the fight worth it.

    Your niece is 6? Holy moly, time is just passing by! I'm glad everything went okay with DCF, that is terrifying about I'm glad it turned out okay, and I hope the therapy helps her.

    I'll be thinking of you, and your dad for his surgery. Let us know how it goes.

    As always, good luck with the semester. And if you ever need anything, let me know.
    Posted September 7th 2019 at 02:29 PM by eaty eaty is offline
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