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IOP 3 days a week, work

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Posted January 21st 2022 at 09:44 PM by Wheek!

I am moving down to doing IOP 3 days per week next week, which also means I'll be done with the program and back to just outpatient very soon. I'd be doing a group therapy session once per week and seeing my regular therapist again. I'm scared that I'm not actually ready to leave group and the comfort it brings. But, I think I've made progress too.

It also means I'm that much closer to going full time in March. I'm scared. I want to prove to myself that I can do it but what if I can't? What if it ends up making everything worse and I end up in the hospital? I already dread going to work and look at the clock so often to count down how long I have left. Now imagine doing that for eight hours straight. My IOP therapist said I'm self-sabotaging because I'm already thinking about it going wrong. She's probably right that I am. I'm just terrified because what if I CAN'T do it and I get fired, or end up in the hospital and then fired, or have to look for another job and take a huge cut in pay? Plus what if all the extra money I make goes to insurance anyway?

I feel trapped into going full time now too because my coworker said that when the contact tracers go full time, she'll be able to go back to her job as a health educator. If I don't go full time or have to leave, she'll be stuck contact tracing again. I can't control other people and their reactions, I have to remind myself. I also feel trapped because of the things I mentioned above.

I'll be out of my comfort zone very soon for sure.
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  1. Old Comment
    Whatever happens, I know you'll get through it.
    Posted January 21st 2022 at 10:29 PM by Ethereal. Ethereal. is offline
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