I've learned her schedule, so I can avoid eye contact or even her all together, if that days bad enough. Today the moment that lasted the longest is when I chose to make eye contact with her, I saw all the pain all of the suffering I caused. I can't let this happen again people are far to important to break. Now I'm going to start remembering every moment as well as every outcome. I can't be close to anyone anymore, I cause too much pain

I told my mother about my self harm, suicidal thoughts and depression today, I will get help soon. I feel so relieved, but I have such a way to go.

My butterflies never last long. Today was a horrible day. I saw her at school. It didnt end well.

I lost her, it hurts so bad.

Me and her are both cutters, we've done it so long and today she texts me "I'm sorry" (we promised not to do it anymore) and I don't know what to do...i dont have Java on my phone...if you can support me via msg, that would be much appreciated. I feel so very bad.

That and i also cant post today .....:c

today i had some issues with my parents, i was upset over something stupid (just the very principal made me quite angry and down) then I go rant to my mother about it and she ends up making me look bad and this makes me very stressed.....i don't think i can confide in my parents anymore (we have had several distrusting incidents). Tommarow is sunday, dont get me wrong i love God but church makes me feel guilty and bad about myself its a emotional rollercoster sunday is...
-Zane

I might fix it later idks I'm not to worried about it atm

Lately ive been...pretty down.Ive been crying a lot as well, I feel alone and just bad all the time ive relapsed with my problems too...I wanna go back to being fixed again....I also might of adopted another problem or two...idk if nail biting is one...I most likely wont be in chat because my Pc is on an Tv and i dont want my parents to walk in and find out about my problems...I'm going to try to post very often on here also...I ran out of paper in my last diary, everything I feel most likely will...