Log in (Register | Forgotten password)
TeenHelp
Home Get Advice Quick Ask Register Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room Search Newsletter Articles
 Resources Donate Mobile Contact Us

Go Back TeenHelp Something for the Soul Self Expression Poem not sure what to call it
Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines 		   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Delicious Chaos Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Delicious Chaos's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female

Posts: 195
Points: 9,344, Level: 14
Points: 9,344, Level: 14 Points: 9,344, Level: 14 Points: 9,344, Level: 14
Join Date: June 27th 2012
Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 10:38 AM
Hello everyone

I SUCK at rhyming but love writing so I wrote this free verse. Tell me what you all think and if you can think of a title name. Any type of constructive criticism is more than welcome ..

Will I ever see the sunrise again
I can’t take it anymore
Tears streaming down my face
How many times will I scream
The pain is overwhelming
You left me alone
When I needed you the most
Now my heart is broken
Into a million shards
Pinching my insides

Will I ever see the sunrise again
Day time seems too far away
I could hardly reach the moonlight

Save me from myself
Save me from the pain

Or I may never see the sunrise again



“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount17
Guest
 
DeletedAccount17's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 10:41 AM
It doesn't necessarily have to rhyme to be a poem in my opinion. But I like this a lot, you did good.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Thereishope Offline
Banned
I can't get enough
*********
 
Thereishope's Avatar
 
Name: Michelle
Age: 41
Gender: Trans female
Pronouns: She/her
Location: Maine

Posts: 2,653
Points: 20,045, Level: 20
Points: 20,045, Level: 20 Points: 20,045, Level: 20 Points: 20,045, Level: 20
Blog Entries: 76
Join Date: November 9th 2012
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 10:55 AM
I agree, it doesn't have to rhyme, and I like how this 1 is written as is. Keep up the great writing!
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Lil sis Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Lil sis's Avatar
 
Name: no name
Gender: No gender
Location: no location

Posts: 508
Points: 13,597, Level: 16
Points: 13,597, Level: 16 Points: 13,597, Level: 16 Points: 13,597, Level: 16
Join Date: February 21st 2013
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 03:12 PM
Call it sunrise

Delete this account
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Rhyfelwr Offline
There's a war inside of me.
Not a n00b
**
 
Rhyfelwr's Avatar
 
Name: Svenja is one :)
Gender: Female
Location: With my brother warriors ^_^

Posts: 72
Points: 9,158, Level: 14
Points: 9,158, Level: 14 Points: 9,158, Level: 14 Points: 9,158, Level: 14
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: February 18th 2013
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 03:28 PM
Awesome poem! I agree with the others too, it sounds good as it is. I'd call it "Savior" or maybe "Revive". And you'll never guess what. I was in a singsong mood, so I just sung your poem
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
oldaccount Offline
I can't get enough
*********
 
oldaccount's Avatar
 

Posts: 2,854
Points: 28,123, Level: 24
Points: 28,123, Level: 24 Points: 28,123, Level: 24 Points: 28,123, Level: 24
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: March 30th 2011
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 05:27 PM
I love writing free verse! It doesn't have to rhyme to be a poem, I agree. This is really good, and I like the title "Revive".
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Ennui. Offline
Living the dream.

TeenHelp Superstar
**************
 
Ennui.'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 27
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 20,065
Points: 172,635, Level: 59
Points: 172,635, Level: 59 Points: 172,635, Level: 59 Points: 172,635, Level: 59
Blog Entries: 173
Join Date: November 16th 2010
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 06:31 PM
I totally agree that poems don't have to rhyme. I think what matters most is that it conveys the emotion and gets the message across, and yours totally did that! I also like the name "Revive." You did a beautiful job!

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Delicious Chaos Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Delicious Chaos's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female

Posts: 195
Points: 9,344, Level: 14
Points: 9,344, Level: 14 Points: 9,344, Level: 14 Points: 9,344, Level: 14
Join Date: June 27th 2012
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 11th 2013, 05:24 AM
Thank you everyone I love writing free verse so I think I will keep writing.. Well writing and showing to people just to see what I can do And now thinking of it I really do like the title "Revive" Thank you again everyone



“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount17
Guest
 
DeletedAccount17's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 11th 2013, 10:33 AM
I'm looking forward to seeing more poems by you.
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Rhyfelwr Offline
There's a war inside of me.
Not a n00b
**
 
Rhyfelwr's Avatar
 
Name: Svenja is one :)
Gender: Female
Location: With my brother warriors ^_^

Posts: 72
Points: 9,158, Level: 14
Points: 9,158, Level: 14 Points: 9,158, Level: 14 Points: 9,158, Level: 14
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: February 18th 2013
Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 12th 2013, 04:24 PM
Same here, I'm really looking forward to more! And I'm glad you like the title so much, but it does really describe the poem!
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
call, poem

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
Overcoming procrastination
- by TeenHelp
Benefits of volunteering
- by TeenHelp
Understanding and coping with migraines
- by TeenHelp
How to support loved ones during a tough time
- by TeenHelp
Driving safely in winter conditions
- by TeenHelp
Mini pesto pizzas recipe
- by TeenHelp
Soothing chapped lips and skin
- by TeenHelp
Volunteer Of The Year 2023.
- by Rob
How to survive Christmas if you aren't really a festive person
- by TeenHelp
Happy holidays from TeenHelp.
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.

Home | Contact Us | Sitemap | Top