Lonely

[Ragamuffin]

I’m so sick of trying to reach out to people and just being ignored. I don’t know why I bother anymore. Every time I try to make plans with ‘friends’, they either cancel last minute or completely ignore my messages. I hate it when I ask someone if they want to hang out and they say “I’ll text you” because I know it won’t happen. I know they haven’t forgotten as I will remind them if I haven’t heard back for a while and will get nothing in response. I feel completely alone and undesirable and it hurts so much. No one wants me so what is the point of living if I’m just going to spend my life alone.

[Astro04]

You know? Something similar happened to me (and still going).
I fully understand that. Guess it's time to find another company and leave. No other options, talking won't fully help.

[Silvan]

Scout,
thanks for reaching out to us here.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It must be hard and hurtful for you feeling that way.

Some friendships fade over time - not all of them, but many, especially if people who used to be together often part ways later on due to different life events. I understand you still feel the need to spend time with your friends and it's upsetting when they don't. However, I wouldn't necessarily assume that you are the reason. There's likely some other explanation - perhaps they have found a new hobby? They have a new partner and spend most time with them? New job, new school, university classes? Perhaps they have a new circle of friends, too, but it doesn't have anything to do with you personally - people grow and change, and they might feel the need to integrate with a different group.
What I would suggest for you now is trying to find some new acquaintances and contacts for yourself. Don't stick to your old friends only - it's fantastic to maintain old friendships, but meeting new people it's exciting and full of opportunities, too! How about joining some kind of extra classes (sport is very integrating, but you could try art or board games or whatever suits your needs). You could also try some therapeutic groups - they are sometimes free where I live, perhaps it's similar in your area. It's a good time to volunteer now to help the Ukrainians - you can meet many great young people taking part in such initiatives (if it is in agreement with your worldview, of course).

I hope you feel better soon!
Take care
xxx S

Hi Scout, thank you for reaching out. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with loneliness right now; and I can say with absolute honestly that I can relate. It's hard to not get caught up on friends not replying to you or cancelling plans; but remember, we're living in a world that is stressful — with what's going on in other countries as well as the pandemic — people need to take a step back to focus on their mental health. It's certainly not to say you aren't worthy, but perhaps check in on them too. Besides, maybe they've forgotten to check in on you as well, or planned to reply to your messages but got distracted with everything they have going on.

The most important thing is this: never take anything too personally.

Try to find something to keep yourself busy, contribute one way or another to the world/your local community. It'll not only keep your mind off friends, it'll make you feel good because you are helping others. We could all be helping one another in this day and age with all the crap going on.

Please take care of yourself.

[popinin]

Originally Posted by Ragamuffin

I’m so sick of trying to reach out to people and just being ignored. I don’t know why I bother anymore. Every time I try to make plans with ‘friends’, they either cancel last minute or completely ignore my messages. I hate it when I ask someone if they want to hang out and they say “I’ll text you” because I know it won’t happen. I know they haven’t forgotten as I will remind them if I haven’t heard back for a while and will get nothing in response. I feel completely alone and undesirable and it hurts so much. No one wants me so what is the point of living if I’m just going to spend my life alone.

So don't adjust to them, if you want to go out, do you need friends for that? I never rely on them, although sometimes it seems that they use me, but I am not discouraged because I do not rely on them, I am totally independent and their opinion is not very interesting to me, as I have an ideal to which I aspire, and it is tomorrow's I