Triggering (SH): First time cutting

[Rejected again]

I'm a 14 year old male, 2 days ago I cut with scissors, I don't have a razor but I don't know why I chose them over a knife. I was really scared to do it for years but I got pushed over the edge and once I had got over the pathetic thoughts of "I can't do this" and "It will hurt too much"; The reason I did it hurt more than physical damage ever will so I decided to just to it. The feeling was weird and felt really good, it didn't bleed much even though I broke the skin I'm really pathetic. The day after it really hurt though and some poor girl saw it (I chopped up my whole arm) and said I should get help so I googled help and found this site. Now you tell me if you're actually helpful in any way or if you're just another random forum full of crapposting idiots. -.-

[Lionheart]

Hey there,

First of, welcome to the side!
I can assure you, that noone here is a crappositing idiot^^

I'm sorry you feel so hurt, that you turned to SH. I'm sure you are a wondeful person and deserve so much better.
Have you seen the Alternetives to SH treat yet? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/)
Maybe you can check it out and find something, that will help. Not everything works for everyone though, so you might have to try a few things, before you find something that helps. But don't give up. You will get past this and the sooner you stop SH and use the alternatives, the easier it will be to quit (not saying it will be easy, but easier)
Also it does not make you pathetic. Neither, that it didn't bleed much, nor that you turned to SH. You are you and your wounds don't reflect how deep your pain is and they never will. Please try not to think like that. Think of it as a reaction of your body and subconsciousnes. They want you to be fine and not to be hurt.
Also you might want to remember that maybe SH will make you feel better for a short time, but it won't slove your problem. Actually it will only create even more problems and make things even worse over time.
Do you know what made you self harm? If you don't, you might want to try to write a journal, which helps a lot, not only to let your emotions out in a safe way, but also to find the reason behind your feelings.
You could also try talking to someone. That can be a parent, teacher, counselour or friend. Talking with others gives you a new perspective on things and that might just be what you need. Also, while you talking to someone, you wont be able to harm yourself and that person could keep you safe until you're feeling better again.
Have you seen the chat? You could log in there and ask someone if they would listen to you. Most people will. Also, if you want to talk to someone you can sent me a pm.
Take care

[Paint]

Hey there! Welcome to TeenHelp!

I remember the first time I gave in. I went through a similar thought process as you; at first it seemed tempting but it looked to painful so I decided to deal with things in a different way. But one day something just pushed me over the edge and I went for it. So I definitely can understand and relate with what you're struggling with. I'm glad your friend is concerned for you and asked you to get help. Stumbling upon TeenHelp, I assure you, was not a bad thing! Personally I may not be able to offer groundbreaking advice, but the support you will get here is beyond measure! I am sorry that other sources have not been as helpful to you.

First of all I want to address the part where you called yourself pathetic. Self-harming does not mean you are pathetic. You caved in and it's okay to forgive yourself. The thing with self harm is that it can and most likely will become very addicting if you don't stop in the beginning stages. I know people who have incorporated it into their daily routine because it's just something they have to do. I'm glad you're seeking help in the beginning, recovering and moving on from this is going to be slightly easier -- not saying this will be an easy process or that you don't have it as bad as another person, just saying that reaching out now is better than if you were to months later.

You've already been linked to the alternatives list above, but if you're looking for more of a distraction besides that, here's a tip: do you have a passion or a hobby that you get really fired up about? A sport, an instrument, anything? Do you like to write? Try to focus that energy into something else, something worthwhile. Personally, I really like art, and whenever I get the urge to cut, I start painting or taking my negative energy and just scribble/sketch something. Another thing I like to do is just go online and distract myself! Talking to friends or other people, even coming on TeenHelp can be a good way to distract yourself. It's all about diverting your attention elsewhere, which can be really hard. Believe me, I know. The rush that self-harm brings you, and that feeling of reality it gives is something that's hard to top, right? I think the biggest thing here is finding something positive that gives you the same feeling, or something at least not so bad. Putting ice on your wrist mimics the same sensation and is obviously a much better way to deal with things.

If things are building up to the point where you are self-harming, I hope you have the appropriate support in your life. If you ever need someone to talk to, please know that there are sources. You can PM/VM me at any time, and a lot of other people here are willing to offer support as well. You can also try calling a hotline if you feel that it gets so bad. Seeking help online is important, but if you can also find a support system offline, you will be good to go!

I hope you found some of this helpful, and if not, I apologize that I couldn't offer much advice. But please know that my support is there, and if you need anything, you know where to reach me!

[crotia]

Well, I'm not sure.
Personally i am an idiot and i do post a lot of crap :
However it is helpfull crap. Remember that this is nothing professional but there ar ea lot of places on the internet where people post there sob stories only to have someone else post a bigger one and hardly comfort each other. Here you will find people who go through teh same things and are willing to share there views and advice. For me this is a great place of support. I hope it can be for you too.

[FireHeart]

Hey there, and welcome to TeenHelp!
I'm really sorry that you've been going through such a rough time. I want you to know that there's nothing wrong with you for turning to self-harm, it is simply a way that some people try to cope with their overwhelming emotions/thoughts. However, it isn't the best or the healthiest way and can even become addicting so it's better to find alternatives. I know it's hard to stop, it's still hard to stop even if you've only done it once but the more you do it the harder it will get so I really do recommend trying the alternatives in the forum Etari posted for you. Try as many as you need and don't be discouraged if one doesn't work because there's always another.

Also, as soon as you can identify the reason why you want to self-harm(to calm down, to feel something, to see blood, to feel more in control, to express yourself) you can gear your alternatives to things that solve that purpose. (For things like seeing blood you can use a red marker and draw on your body or draw a picture of yourself and mark it up red) I've found that the need isn't really in the self-harm, it's in what it does for you. So if you can find an alternative that does the same thing, even if it's on a less intense level, it can be really effective in helping you deal with urges.

Also, on a side note I haven't run into any idiots on this site really, a lot of the people on here are really here to help whoever they can and give really great advice. I think you'll be able to find support here and you can PM or VM me anytime if you need to talk.

[Rejected again]

@paint she's not my friend she's just some person I wish was my friend and I'm not confident in pms

@fire I know the reason I did it but don't really want to share it

[FireHeart]

Originally Posted by Rejected again

@fire I know the reason I did it but don't really want to share it

That's alright, I don't really mean the situation that pushed you to self-harm, I mean the desire, like what you want to get out of it. I just wanted to clarify that, but it's perfectly okay if you don't want to share. I'm just putting some advice out there in case it can be of use to you.