Triggering (SH): Paranoia.

[PlutoTheOpposum]

For some reason, the SH label isn't on here- so yeah TW for that.

I'm so paranoid my parents will find out. It's been 4 1/2 months since my last hospital stay, and I DON'T want to go back. But that's what I'm scared will happen if they DO find out. I've been doing it on my upper arms, and even then it's the worst it's ever been. Like, so much so that I was shocked. But I now can't wear tanktops or any other short-sleeved thing. I really don't want my parents to suspect anything's wrong, which I KNOW is wrong of me, but they just don't go about it the right way. They're just too confrontational, and I'm too emotional.
And I don't know, my anger issues have just been out of control lately. Even small things made me SO MAD.
I usually just....bite myself on the hand for the smaller things, which wouldn't be a problem but now I have a bunch of bruises on my hand.
I'm scared that this'll lead me BACK down that path that inevitably gets me sent to the hospital, because this is EXACTLY how it went last time; time frame and everything. And this time there's more at stake because I've vented on here, I've talked about having a girlfriend (I don't want to lose her...), I've vented on pinterest, and ALL of this has been done on my school chromebook (I know, you can scold me, but I literally don't have anything else to vent on. My last therapy session was a month or two ago, and I missed it that time. Idk when my next one is.)
So yeah, Idk.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Lyl,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and I hope that you will be okay soon. When you are having a hard time with something and you feel that you are going to self harm, try to find something to help you get your mind off of this feeling for a while. For example, try going for a walk around your house if you can or putting on funny movies or TV shows or YouTube videos or if you enjoy reading or drawing or painting or writing or calling a friend or listening to music or something else that you enjoy doing and try that to help you to get your mind off of this for a while. Sometimes we may have to try a few different things to help us to be okay and that is totally fine to do.

Also, ask your school counselor or one of your teachers that you like to talk with at school and ask them if they have any support groups at your school that you would be able to join and then you would be able to talk to other students who are going through the same thing as you. Sometimes it can help to talk about what you are going through with other people and you can also see about setting up times to talk one on one with your school counselor and this can help you to feel better too. I hope that you will be okay soon.