Triggering (SH): Back here again (getting it off my chest)

[CoffeeAddict12]

Oh wow

I used to use this site a while back and it was so helpful, I'm so glad it's still running!

I recently started SHing again to help cope with the stresses of life. I can't handle working in corporate but I can't afford financially to go back to retail. I suspect I have ADHD, which has been getting worse and worse, and now I'm getting in trouble at work for not being able to do my day-to-day stuff properly. It's so stressful I just didn't know what else to do!

I know it doesn't get rid of the problem, but I feel less emotional about it when I do it. And the lingering feeling from it helps remind me of why I had to do it.

I feel so pathetic, no longer a teenager, living with my partner, but I still have to do this to cope with life 😔

Last year I experienced 3 close family deaths, workplace bullying in my previous place, and a loss of my own 💔 it's been such a terrible year and I just don't know when it will ever get better.

I don't know what I wanted to get out of this, but just typing it out helps and sharing it with people.

Might delete later.

Thanks guys

[Ennui.]

Hey,

I'm sorry you have all of that going on! That is a lot of stress.

Do you think for work you would be able to sit down with a boss, manager, or HR and brainstorm ways to improve things? You can discuss workplace accommodations that might help you better complete your assigned duties. I get that getting evaluated for ADHD is super expensive and hard to access, at least in the US, so it's understandable if you're not able to get assessed right now. Your primary care doctor or therapist might be able to write a note to your job saying you need accommodations if your workplace requires a doctor's note.

Deaths in the family are also super hard to go through, especially three of them. Maybe you can find activities to do that honor your loved ones, such as doing a hobby they like, going to one of their favorite places, or even meditating on things out in nature. It's also great that you got out of the workplace environment where you were being bullied. If you want support about that, or your other loss, feel free to ask.

I sometimes use ice packs when I have the urge to cut. I have a migraine ice cap so it would provide ice to the back of my neck, my temples, my forehead, and my eyes. My therapist suggested using ice cubes instead so you can put them on the spot you want to self harm and hold them there and watch the ice melt on your skin. The cold is supposed to help provide your body with a "reset" when you're experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety. To get the same effect, some people dunk their heads in ice water or take a cold shower.

You're not pathetic for self harming though. I'm 27 and I still self harm, so you're not alone.

[This_is_the_greatest_plan]

Hey, Im sorry youve gone through so much lately and Im glad that sharing your story helped. Also, welcome back, Im new too but its my first time here!
It sounds like you found retail easier to do, like it worked better with your ADHD, is that right? But that corporate work doesnt work so well. Can you say more about what worked better about retail?

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello and welcome back to teenhelp, thank you so much for telling us about what you have been going through and I am so sorry about all of this and I hope that you will be okay soon. When we need help with something, it is always a good idea to ask for help just like how you are right now. Sit down with your boss and let them know what you need from them and the next time you feel like self harming, try to find something to help you get your mind off of this for a while, reading, watching movies, drawing, painting or anything else that you enjoy doing. I hope you will be okay soon.

[Butterscotch.]

Welcome back, I'm glad you were able to write about this. It sounds like there are a mixture of things stressing you out right now, and that can take a lot out of a person! First of all, there is absolutely no age limit as to when you can feel like shit. Robin Williams was in his 50s when he passed away, that mentality is why he never spoke to anyone before he took his life. He thought he was too old for help, or people would judge.

My point is, it is always ok to talk to someone about how you're feeling. I suggest searching for a therapist so you can speak to someone about how you're feeling, how your thought process has been, stresses from work and other day-to-day issues, and find out how you can manage your ADHD. A counselor is not there to judge you or criticize you; if they do then it's not you, it's them that need to re-evaluate their career choices.

Wishing you the best of luck, feel free to reach out whenever you need to!

[Silvan]

Hi, welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. We're always happy to help here on TeenHelp, be it on the forums, DMs or through the Discord channel. Take care!