why is cutting bad?

[Lumos.]

all want to do lately is cut. its the only thing i can to stop from killing myself. i have plans to kill myself in november.i have tried alternitives. they don't work. i cut again yesterday. i want to again today. in my brain i don't see how its bad. can someone give me a reason why its bad? i just can't make myself understand its bad.

[fullofsecrets]

It's bad because you're injuring your body. You can get an infection, you can have severe blood loss - you're hurting your body. After a while it becomes an addiction, an addictive behaviors are hard to quit. It's a bad coping mechanism. Some people drink or smoke when they're upset, and others cut. I personally see it as a bad coping mechanism, while I've heard others say it's a mental disorder. Whatever your reason for cutting is, you need to stop. Cutting is bad because you're punishing yourself to escape the pain from something else. It's a distraction from whatever emotional pain you might be experiencing. There are so many better ways of coping with whatever issues you may be experiencing. Please stop cutting and try to get help. Please don't kill yourself. Your life is important. There are great people here on the Teen Help forums who will agree with me. Just talk to us, we'll help you get through it as best we can. Just please don't hurt yourself. Please don't kill yourself.

[TheCrowing]

Like the above said, it's bad because you are punishing yourself in a harmful way. And, it not only hurts you, but it hurts people around you. You don't have to believe me, but when you do this to yourself, you're not the only one that experiences the negative side effects of it. So if you can't stop for yourself, stop for someone else. The only thing that will keep you from doing it, or make you keep doing it, is yourself. Honestly, we can't tell you what to do and what not to do, we can only strongly suggest. And I'm strongly suggesting that you take a step back from everything going wrong, take a step back and look at the situation. How is it good? Can you find a negative for every 'good'? Maybe that will help you understand why it isn't healthy.

[Victoria ♥]

Hey Dionna!

I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about how to reply to your post. I can really appreciate why you are finding it hard to understand why self harming is a bad thing right now. From what you’ve said it seems like cutting is helping you get through a really difficult time.

The bad thing about cutting is that it shows you’re hurting. I don’t know how badly you’ve been cutting or for how long, but self harm can become addictive and it can be really difficult to stop. Another problem with cutting is that it can lead to scars. Although scars are nothing to be ashamed of it can unfortunately lead to negative attention which is something you should bear in mind.

After reading your post I can see how unhappy you’re feeling at the moment and i’m really sorry to hear that. I’m wondering if you’ve been able to talk to anyone about how you’re feeling? I do think that talking to people when you’re struggling can help. Do you think you could try talking to your parents or friends or maybe your doctor? There are people who can help you Dionna and it’s important that you know you’re not alone.

You say you’ve already tried alternatives which i think is great as it shows you’ve tried to help yourself. I am sorry to hear that they haven’t helped you so far, but sometimes you need to try quite a few things before you find something that works for YOU. Here is TeenHelps ‘list of alternatives’. It might be worth taking a look through it to see if there’s anything else you could try.

Something else that might help is thinking about the reasons you are cutting. Has something happened to make you feel so bad or are you not sure why you feel this way? You might find that writing your feelings down will help. Another thing you could try would be keeping a ‘self harm diary’- if you write down how you’re feeling before you cut it might help you identify possible triggers. You may find that certain situations make you feel worse and it may be possible to avoid them.
I hope something i’ve said has helped a bit and if you want to talk feel free to PM me.

Stay strong
Vicky x

[Lumos.]

thanks for replying. to answer Victoriadactyl's questions.
i really have don't have anyone to talk to. my friends don't really care that i self harm anymore. i have been self harming for about 8 moths. they don't understand how hard it is to quit.they also don't understand how i can't just be happy because i have depression. my parents never notice when im sad, or the cut on my arms. they are too busy with their own lives. when i went to the doctor for a check up the doctor asked if i cut myself. i lied and said no. many peole have asked me. i always lie to them. A couple people know about my depression.

i know why i feel like this. well i know how it began. Sometimes i write stuff down. Thank you for taking your time to write back. it helped.

Dionna

[Victoria ♥]

Hey Dionna

I’m sorry to hear that your friends aren’t being understanding and supportive at the moment.

You’ve said that your parents don’t notice but do you think you’d be able to sit down and explain to them how you’re feeling? Telling people the truth about how you’re feeling and self harming can be difficult so i can understand why you didn’t feel you could open up to your doctor. One thing i can say though is that your doctor would be able to help you, whether that be by referring you on to other services or by listening to you and offering advice on how to cope with the way you’re feeling.

If you still don't feel like you're ready to open up to people in person you could try calling a helpline. (click here)

Vicky

[Lumos.]

its ok. i have never had supportive friends. i can't tell them. i have tryed but i just can't tell them. my mom wouldnt understand. and me and my dad never talk about our feelings. so the only way to go because i don't want to tell them is killing myself. but i promised my friend i wouldnt til november. i wish i could tell a grown up about wanting to kill myself but i can't.

[Victoria ♥]

What makes you think your mum wouldn't understand?
How do you get on with the friend who made you promise not to do anything until November? It seems like she cares about you- maybe you could talk things through with her?

Vicky

[Loving Linux Penguin]

Hey there Dionna.

While I can't pretend to have gone through self-harm before, I think I have a pretty good understanding of the concept and the issues surrounding it.

I want to assure you that there are VERY good ways to get through things like this--including talk to your parents. Parents can be more understanding than you might think. I mean, of course it's not a 100% success rate, but I'd say it could be worth a try

Also, I wanted to commend you. Your signature says that you've been SH free for the last two days. That's GREAT. You're on the right path. Just get help, and don't give up on life.

[Lumos.]

me and my mom don't get along very well so she just wouldn't.

me and that friend get along ok. she's mean to me sometimes. she doesnt care about my feelings.

[Lumos.]

i might tell my dad i want to talk to someone. but i might just kill myself. i can't live anymore..

[Victoria ♥]

Dionna,

I'm sorry you and your mum don't get on that well. I can imagine it makes things harder if things aren't great at home.

How do you think your dad will react if you tell him?

I'm here if you want to talk, please be safe.

Vicky

[gymnastxxLeah]

find something to live for. find something thats worth keeping yourself alive. find something or maybe someone who you'll quit cutting for. its the best thing for you right now.

[Lumos.]

my dad... i don't really know how he'd react. we don't reallly talk about our feelings or anything like that, so i don't know.. i can't really tell my parents.

[Lumos.]

Leah.sings24- thats a good idea.. thanks, but i don't have many people who care.

[Obliviate]

Hi Dionna

It's a brave thing to do, to ask for help. You've taken the first step by just posting this thread. So well done honey!

I understand that it is hard to tell anyone, especially parents that you're struggling. I can sympathize with you on that, but I've been there and plucked up the courage to talk about my problems. It was the best thing I ever did.

The longer you leave it the worse it gets dear. So the sooner you get help and are on the road to recovery, the better! It wont be easy, but you have it in you

You can always book an appointment at the doctors and see what they say before you tell your parents.

Self Harming might be helping you in the short term, but eventually you'll want to go deeper and deeper and then one day you might go too deep, which none of us want to happen to you
Try some alternatives to hurting yourself. Good luck with it dear.

As for feeling suicidal, you CAN do this. There's no need to kill yourself... just think of all the amazing things in life which you wont get to experience or see.

If you ever need anything, you can come and talk to me. Just PM me!

Hold on to hope sweetheart.

Stay safe
Keep strong

- Charli <3

[Lumos.]

i decided yesterday i don't care at all anymore. i cut again. and i probably will again today.