So i was raped..

[Katie Lydia]

I was raped/sexually assaulted yesterday by my best friend, i've came home and left my flat to be with my mum, i told her everything, she's being very supportive.

I guess the reason i'm posting this is why do i feel numb? I cried for short periods of time yesterday, i felt a little angry earlier but now i feel semi-normal. I'm posting on here like nothings happened, i'm trying to study and listening to music.

The only time i feel different is when i try to study but that's because it's so hard, i don't have all the information and the fact that i'm taking the week off college so i'm going to have much more work and exams to do when i go back.

Im taking the week off college because the guy that done it is in my class. I just feel so, empty, numb. Shouldn't i be screaming, crying? I wonder if im still in shock.

[Tigerlily.]

Katie, everyone reacts to these things in a different way, the second time I was sexually assaulted, I reacted like you are now. It can be hard to deal with and to think that you are reacting the "wrong way" doesn't help. But just try to remember that you have support. Are you considering pressing charges or seeking help for what he's done to you?

[Katie Lydia]

Originally Posted by Tigerlily.

Katie, everyone reacts to these things in a different way, the second time I was sexually assaulted, I reacted like you are now. It can be hard to deal with and to think that you are reacting the "wrong way" doesn't help. But just try to remember that you have support. Are you considering pressing charges or seeking help for what he's done to you?

First of all thank you for replying to me, it actually brought tears to my eyes that someone has replied to me, the first thread i made about it, i had no response at all and theres nothing worse when your seeking help and you get ignored.

I'm not pressing charges because he feels terrible about it and is crying down the phone to me, pleading and i don't think i could live with ruining his life like that because i don't even think he thinks it was rape, i think he thinks he "went too far."

I just can't shake this hole in my stomach that makes me feel naseous and numb and i want to feel something.

Thank you so so much for replying to me, that has really helped.

[Magical Forest.]

I was raped by a close friend 4 years ago, and I definitely felt numb afterwards. To everyone else I appeared calm and normal, but really I was just blank. I carried on with things. Nobody knew that something had gone on until I told a professional. The breaking down bit came later.
Like Cheye said, people react differently. You might go through phases where you're angry, upset, numb, disgusted... Its your minds way of trying to deal with the problem. I don't think there is a 'normal' way to react to this.
I'm sorry that you had to experience this, but you aren't alone and I can understand how you're feeling.
If you need a chat, my message box is open

Take care x

[purplemask]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I have read your posts, but I really think you should report him

[Katie Lydia]

Originally Posted by purplemask

I'm sorry this happened to you. I have read your posts, but I really think you should report him

Thank you but i couldn't live with myself if i ruined his life like that, if it was a stranger then i would have but he was my best friend and he's punishing himself right now, i've never seen him like this before and i believe he doesn't think it was rape, it was just "he went too far", i don't agree with that but how can i say to someone who was my best friend that he raped me, i feel raped and i feel numb, confused, upset, broken? I think that would kill him.