Was I Technically Raped?

[RiseFromTheAshes]

It's a rule that if a person is intoxicated and you have sex with them it's rape, right? Friday night I got completely drunk (like, to a dangerous level) and I ended up having sex with a guy. Before that night I was interested in him romantically and when he initiated things I didn't try to stop him or anything. So that makes me think it wasn't rape. Especially since the day after we were intimate but then decided to just stay friends. But if I consented while sober, doesn't that mean I probably consented while I was drunk? Although I have heard that when someone is drunk they cannot make rational decisions so it is always rape. Especially since he knew I was drunk. I was so drunk I don't even remember having sex with him that night. Anyways, I'm just really curious. I have no anger or intent to press charges against him. But for my own knowledge, was I technically raped that night???

If you didn't say the word "no", it is not rape. But he did take advantage of you whilst you were drunk. It's really tricky, but how do you feel about it? Do you feel you were raped? You could also try talking to him, gauge his reaction about it.

[Rivière]

Usually rape is when one forces sexual intercourse upon another regardless of whether or not the person actually wants to have sex. One who ignores the boundaries of the word No and ignores a person's refusal in having sex.

When a person's drunk their ability to know what's right from wrong is reduced and therefore a lot of people tend to have sex because this boundaries becomes blurred. As you don't seem to have rejected this guy's offer, regardless of whether or not you were drunk, I wouldn't necessarily call it rape, just that you were a little irresponsible and he took advantage of your drunken state. I say this because you technically didn't have to get as drunk as you did but you chose to and he didn't have to initiate having sex with you but he also chose to. In my personal opinion, what I see is a poor choice of decision making on both sides but not rape.

[Dream]

Generally, it does not matter what a person says while they are drunk- if they wake up after it happened and realize it was unwated, then it was rape. A lot of people don't realize that people who are drunk cannot give consent.

That being said, it is still up to you whether or not it is rape in the legal sense, meaning it is up to you whether you want to press charges. They could not try him for rape unless you named it as such the way they could try someone for staturory rape.

[blurryface]

Originally Posted by Skyways and Starlights

If you didn't say the word "no", it is not rape.

what if he had a hand over her mouth? what if she was struggling? she even said she doesn't even remember it, and she said she was too drunk to give consent. oh, but if the word 'no' never physically left her lips, then it must not be rape. of course not.
yes. technically, you were raped. you were too drunk to give consent. try to remember all that you can and talk with him about what happened.

[Rivière]

2 days later and I re-read your thread and realised I misread part of it! Talk about blind! For some reason I thought you'd written that both you and your friend were drunk and thus my reply. I'm very sorry for this. Unfortunately I can't edit my post so please ignore what I wrote above.

Your friend, full well knowing you were drunk, chose to ignore this factor and took advantage of the situation. As a friend I'm surprised that he chose to do thisto you, no good friend would ever do this to another person, they should be the ones to protect you, not take advantage of you. Even if you had consented while sober, it does not necessarily mean you would have whilst you were drunk. When drunk we don't always think about the right course of action or what's best for us because well, we're drunk. You were in no state of mind to either say yes or no. For this reason I would consider it rape.