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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Did I get raped? - October 12th 2014, 06:39 PM

Me and my best friend were drinking the other night (at least, I was), and I blacked out. According to him, I was doing ridiculous funny shit all night. What I thought I remembered was giving him a bj and him trying to have sex with me. All my memory of it is dark, but I can still remember all the feelings (of the bj, attempted anal) and stuff I heard. Could it have been a dream, or some manufactured fantasy? I've never actually been that drunk, and the amount of liquor gone the next day and the ridiculous hangover I had seems to indicate that I kept drinking after I forgot everything.
If he did do it, it wouldn't end my world necessarily, but I would be a little disturbed because my best friend tried to f me while he was sober.
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Re: Did I get raped? - October 12th 2014, 11:20 PM

If it wasn't a dream then yes I would consider it rape..because your friend used you while you were drunk... If it was dream... Its just dream... If you heard of it happening and stuff then it might of been real. If there was anybody that might of known about it or was with you while you were intoxicated.. (Other than that friend) you could ask? Idk..

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Re: Did I get raped? - October 13th 2014, 06:01 AM

Well, thing is, we did experiment actually when we were 16, and I do still remember all the sensations, so I do think that my mind could have made it up. But on the other hand, I swear I can remember the sequence of events, possibly leading up to passing out. I remember where I put the liquor at the end of the night, which would debunk what he said about me drinking a ton more than I remember. Hell, I even think I remember saying, "we'll just forget this in the morning". But there was more liquor gone than I remember drinking. He says I passed out with it in my hand.
If he did rape me, hell, we'll still be best friends anyway. Our friendship is tight as hell. But I'll always remember he did that and think of him as a fucking asshole. We're adults.You don't fuckin get oral sex from your best friend while he's drunk and your fully sober.
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Re: Did I get raped? - October 13th 2014, 06:17 AM

And no... nobody else was there.
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Re: Did I get raped? - October 13th 2014, 10:28 AM

Hi Robert,

That sounds like a difficult situation.

I’m afraid that there isn’t much you can do to find out if it was real or not apart from asking your friend outright, and hoping he is honest.

You could also (depending on your area) go to a rape crisis centre and explain the situation and maybe ask for a rape kit (to collect DNA to see if you were raped or not), but that may get your friend in trouble, if he did rape you.

I have never been drunk (I don’t drink) so I can’t really say how the mind works, but I don’t think the mind would fabricate things or get confused and think about what happened when you were 16. I also think that most rape survivors, even if they doubt their memory, will remember the sensations and feelings. I read something about how the body remembers, but I’m not too sure on that.

If it bothers you, either now or in the future, you could look at our hotlines list: http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines/#rape_and_abuse or speak to your doctor and arrange for some counselling.

Take care


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Re: Did I get raped? - October 13th 2014, 05:46 PM

Technically, at least in the state of Ohio, no one can legally give sexual consent if intoxicated. Look up the definitions of what is rape for wherever you live.


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Re: Did I get raped? - October 14th 2014, 12:23 AM

As someone above me said, you cannot consent when you are intoxicated so that would be considered rape. Although the body has the ability to remember sensations and release them into flashbacks later on, you said you remember the sequence of events. Your mind wouldn't make this sort of thing up. If anything, your mind would want to make up something positive about yourself. I definitely know the doubt can be bothersome, but trust your instinct on this one.

The hotlines that were given above are a good resource. I suggest looking into seeing a professional as well to get their opinion and advice.


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Re: Did I get raped? - October 14th 2014, 12:45 AM

He could have raped you or not. You wont know cause you were asleep
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Re: Did I get raped? - October 14th 2014, 04:09 AM

That son of a bitch. Im pretty sure my best friend did, in fact, rape me... Thats freakin awesome...
Life goes on though. I'll get over it.
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