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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Exclamation my fried was raped by her brother - November 14th 2015, 11:09 PM

about a month ago my friend was be called a slut and everyone was being mean to her than one day she came to class crying because her boyfriend broke up with her he was senior and shes a freshmen they broke because she never hung out with him we told her why she broke up with him me and my friends were trying to talk to her but she would say you wont understand but she said her brother one day follewd her her room and lockeed the door and he raped her and he said if she evere told anyone he would beat her and her brothers and he goes to the same school as us and thats why she cant keep a bf....

what should i do???!!!

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Re: my friend was raped by her brother - November 15th 2015, 03:22 AM

My friend was in a (very) similar situation last year, and here's what I did for her:
1) I was always there if she needed to talk about it. I never pushed her to talk, but when she needed support she knew she could come to me. When she wanted to talk, I made time for her and listened to her. I'd assure her it was going to be okay.
2) I talked to her about telling the police or somebody who can get help for her because in her situation, she was beat up because her father (who was a teacher at her school) thought she was telling people. Until she was ready, I never told anybody, She came to me because she trusted me and I did not break her trust. It's your friend's choice whether she's ready to tell anybody, but maybe you could suggest that she talk to her parents or another trusted adult about it when she is ready.
3) We set up a safety plan, if she felt threatened and could not call the police she could text me a coded message and I'd call for her. If she needed somewhere to go, (with permission from my parents, although I didn't tell them the situation) I told her where our extra key was.
4) When my friend was ready to tell somebody, she asked me to go with her because she felt safer with me there. So I immediately went with her.
That's just how I handled it, but no two situations are the same and so what works for one might not work for another. In any case, be supportive. Maybe set up a similar type of plan, in case her brother does try to beat up her or her brothers. For example, if you both have cell phones, you could both come up with a phrase that she could text that meant she needs help. My friend and I came up with "Beth's calling" it was a phrase we wouldn't ever use in normal conversation (we didn't know any Beths), but wasn't weird enough to raise suspicion.



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Re: my fried was raped by her brother - November 15th 2015, 04:16 AM

I'm really sorry your friend has gone through this.

I agree with what has already been said. Try to be there for her whenever she needs someone. Let her know that you're there for her whenever she would like to talk about what she went through. You don't even have to talk about her trauma to be supportive. If she looks upset at school, for instance, you could be supportive by providing a distraction or something like that. I know a lot of times, people are afraid to ask for help but just having a safe person around, whether you're talking about the trauma or not, can be helpful.

Encourage her to seek help. Like it has been said, she needs to tell someone when she feels ready and telling someone has to be her choice. But, she could benefit from encouragement to talk to someone about this. I like the idea of creating a safety plan, as well.

Encourage her to express how she's feeling. Maybe suggest blogging, journalling, artwork, or poetry. She could write a letter to her brother to express her feelings and then she can destroy it somehow. Maybe you can show her TeenHelp and suggest for her to join.


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Re: my fried was raped by her brother - November 16th 2015, 03:56 AM

thanks for your advise
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