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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question sexual abuse? - September 5th 2009, 02:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

it might be triggering,i dunno..

when i was in first grade in school,so i was 6 years old, i saw a man who was an exhibitionist. now i just read that in front of children it's a form of sexual abuse.
that happened twice.. now i dont know. i mean it's shocking, so i was kinda sexually abused two times. but somehow i dont believe it was sexual abuse i dunno..
i am so confused right now :/



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And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
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this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sexual abuse? - September 5th 2009, 06:30 PM

Hey Bella,

I can see how this might be confusing right now, especially if it bothered you a lot. When you're that young, you shouldn't be exposed to things like this. No one should have to be exposed to anything before they feel ready or willing to.

I would say right now, the biggest thing you're dealing with is the idea of being sexually abused. Try to drop that term for now and think of how you feel/felt about this situation. You don't need to label this anything you aren't comfortable with. For now, sort out your emotions towards things first. Those, after all, are the most important things. Sorting through those and coping with them should be priority.

If you think about the situation and find yourself affected, either by a flashback or negative feelings - I suggest talking to someone about this. Even though it might not be any form of contact violations, it's affecting you and it's therefore important to deal with - not force away. Try talking to your parents and maybe think about seeing a counselor to help you deal with your emotions and feelings. They might even be able to help you categorize what happened in a way easier to handle right now. Either way, I think the fact that this is sexual abuse or not is irrelevant. I think the most important thing to decide is if you're affected by what happened and how you plan to cope with how you feel. Other things will come along the road to progress of coping.


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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 04:28 PM

Hey Bella.

To bounce off a bit of what Melissa said, I'm sorry that this happened to you at such a young age. It's something that no one should be exposed to especially at such a young age.

Also, to use some of what she said, you never have to label what it is you've been through, just focus on the emotions that are affecting you right now. There are a lot of ways to get through the flashbacks, and through the pain that these may cause. There is a technique that you can use whenever you start feeling bad about anything, it's called grounding. It's a good thing to use when you start to have flashbacks. You just basically name off five things you can see, hear, smell, and touch, four things, three things, etc. all the way down to one.

Lastly, I will like to tell you, and this is the most important thing to remember: you should look into to getting someone to talk to, vent, get your feelings out. Get some coping skills, etc. It does no one good to keep it inside of you, and quite honestly, I think you really, really should look into that.

I wish you the best of luck, Bella, and should you need anything at all, feel free to PM/VM me.

-Casper.



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 06:20 PM

Thank you so much for your answers..
When it happened to me,no one believed me and my formteacher even laughed about it.

I never forgot it and sometimes it makes me sick thinking about it.
Honestly, I wish I could forget the whole day :/

Erm, Casper.. Could you explain the technique again? I dont really get it :S
Sorry.. it's me being stupid..



And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 07:14 PM

Hey Bella,

I think what Casper means is....

When you start having Flashbacks, or similar notions such as Panic Attacks you can use this technique to focus your mind on the present.

You Start by naming five things in your head that you can see, hear, smell, touch etc.
Then you try and find four thing, then three things, etc.

When your done, you should be calmer, and able to move on from the flashback phase.

Does that make better sense?
Claire


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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 07:33 PM

Oh, now I understand it !
Thank you (:
I will try it when I have a flashback next time .. thanks for the tip

Bella x



And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 07:37 PM

Cool =]

Try and work with what the others told you , but if you ever feel want someone to talk to I'm here =]


I'm still alive.
Must have been a miracle
It's been one hell of a ride
Destination still unkown
It's a fact of life: If you make one wrong move with a gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead.


I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that you can't turn back
Thats right.
I got away with it all and I'm still alive.
Let the end of the world come tumbling down.
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs through my veins
I'm still alive.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: sexual abuse? - September 7th 2009, 09:57 PM

Sorry for not explaining it well enough for you, Bella, and thanks for clarifying it, Claire. Grounding is a technique used for PTSD, Flashbacks, and anxiety attacks. It's a stage of keeping yourself calm and safely pulling yourself out of the event in your mind and pulling you back to reality.

I hope you're all doing well, xo.



||I knew when I looked in his eyes ||
||That he was gonna be
trouble for me ||


PM||VM

   
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