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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Strife Offline
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Is this rape? - August 26th 2011, 06:13 AM

I guess I'll just describe the situation flat-out then.
I had just started dating my friend of several years two days earlier. We were y'know, doing things, and he knew I was abstinent and wanted to wait until I got married. He said it was hard to resist the temptation and I asked if he'd prefer stopping, since we couldn't do anything more. He said no so we continued. Then he...shoved it in, I guess you'd say. (This is awkward, sorry.) He told me that I had done it, not him, but I wouldn't, I know I wouldn't. Then I started crying and he asked if he could continue. I figured it didn't matter anymore so after that point I agreed. I guess I'm not asking about that part.

That was a few months ago. Less than a week ago, my friend asked him if he "just wanted to make my life miserable since [he] had basically raped [me.]" His response, according to her, was "Yeah, I raped her. So what?..." So I guess he admits guilt to it? But I don't feel like I'm reacting properly to the whole ordeal. I just don't know. :/
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 26th 2011, 05:19 PM

If you told him you didn't want to have sex, but he "shoved it in" anyways, that's rape. Even though you consented afterwards to further sex, it was still considered rape when he went against your wishes. If he admitted it, well, that also proves it. I'm assuming you're not together anymore? You deserve much better & I'm sorry this happened to you. You should report this so he doesn't do it to anyone else.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 26th 2011, 05:29 PM

I'm sorry this happened

It's considered rape since you told him you wanted to wait until marriage and you asked him if he wanted to stop since you didn't want to have sex, yet he still "shoved it in." Even though you consented afterwards, it's still considered rape since you said "no" to begin with. And seeing as he outright admitted it, that's not even a doubt in my head that he knew what he was doing.

This is not your fault..

Have you reported him? You definitely should so this doesn't happen to any other girls.

Stay strong. PM me if you'd ever like to talk, about anything.

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Re: Is this rape? - August 29th 2011, 07:02 AM

why you're not avoid him while he shoved it. I think is not.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 30th 2011, 08:40 PM

Did you specifically say "No, I don't want to have sex"? Sorry, it's a little hard to tell.


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Re: Is this rape? - August 30th 2011, 09:40 PM

if he says he raped you report it because he has a chance to do it again if you dont when i was raped i didnt report it i regret not though so you shuld if you feel that you were raped then report use your friend he said it to has a witness because he said yeah i raped her so thats proof i highly suggest to report it good luck hun stay safe




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Re: Is this rape? - August 30th 2011, 10:22 PM

You said no, he kept going. It was rape. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with it.
Have you considered reporting it? Your friend's statement may help you be able to take this to court. I understand that it's your decision, but it is an idea to find some closure in the situation.
I hope you at least see a professional at some point to be able to help you. It doesn't mean you're crazy-It'll help you be able to figure out what has happened. I hope everything works out, message me if you ever need!


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Re: Is this rape? - August 31st 2011, 03:27 AM

Yes, this was rape, and I'm very sorry that this happened to you!! I think that you should report it, it's your choice, but that's just what I think. Maybe you are still in a state of shock, but if you haven't already, you should break up with this guy. If he had known u for years prior, he shouldn't have done it!! PM me if you ever need ANYTHING!!


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Re: Is this rape? - August 31st 2011, 05:39 PM

wow that guy is a real jerk ,

that being said : its not rape. you never explicitly said no, you just sort of hinted at wanting him to stop. its not rape, but the guy is a jerk and doesnt deserve your time
   
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Re: Is this rape? - September 4th 2011, 01:45 AM

Your reaction is normal. There is nothing wrong with you, at all. He raped you. You can report him or not depending on what you feel you should do. It was two years before I started feeling angery about my rape like experience. Not to say you'll start feeling it at all or as soon as I did. It was not your fault. He forced that on you.


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Re: Is this rape? - September 7th 2011, 03:16 AM

I had thought of reporting it, but it's probably been too long now, especially when I let it happen afterward. :/ I'm not with him anymore, we don't even speak. So hat is one good thing, I suppose.
   
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