telling my parents i am transgender?

[Zemie]

ever since i was little ive known that i didn't want to be a girl and i've always worn boys clothes and for years now ive had a boy haircut so I don't know what my parents think or anything, i mean since they let me do all this, but i really want to like 'come out' (bleh) to them i am transgender. In public when people think I'm a boy it makes me happy but i feel bad for my parents because it embarrasses them i guess. I hate my body so much and I really want to have like surgery and hrt, but I'm whenever i think of telling my parents it just feels impossible. My parents are very liberal so I don't think they would hate me or anything, but like just whenever i think of like having to tell my friends or other members of my family it just seems like it would be so awkward and scary, even though i know it probably won't be nearly as bad as i imagine it. I just don't know why I can't. And like i really want to because it keeps getting worse, like I always compare myself to other guys and it just makes me feel worse and worse. Like I get really bad anxiety where i can hardly talk to people and i have like this weird reoccurring thought of stabbing myself in my hips or chest because i hate it so much and i draw a lot of pictures of women like being stabbed or cut open and that makes me feel better but I also worry that people will think i'm insane or somethine I've never been to a therapist and I'm not on any medication so I don't know, there could be other things wrong with me and I worry about that a lot. I've tried to tell my parents maybe i need help but they always brush it off like jokingly.
But anyway like an idea i keep having for coming out is to like write a letter to my mom and just give it to her and then go for a walk while she reads it and then whatever happens will happen, but I just can't bring myself to do it and I don't know why.
I'm sorry this is like a rambled mess

[Ginger98]

It's not a mess! It's all good! You knew you'd had to come out at some point and maybe this is your chance! Eventually you have to face hats going I happen whether it be negative or positive results. Why not get it over with right?? I'm sure your parents love and care a lot about you therefore they aren't going to hate you or be mad. They may be a little frustrated and confused but they will still love you no matter what. The same for your friends(if they are true friends.)Also, on the surgery thing if the surgery will make you feel better about yourself and make you happier I don't see any problem with getting it! Also, I believe you should either see a therapist or maybe just talk to a close friend or family member that you really and truely trust about your problems! Message me if you ever need anything at anytime!! good luck

[Ennui.]

I think that it's probably scary to come out since it's, well, the unknown. It can change everything, and that can be really scary!

It seem as if your parents are really accepting people though since they have let you dress the way you feel the most comfortable with and have let you express yourself the way you want to.

I really like the idea of writing them a letter. That's really a good idea to get everything out without nerves or interruptions getting in the way! If you really can't get yourself to give her the letter, perhaps you can write it in the form of an email? Letters are more personal and would get your emotions across more, but if you feel like an email would be better, you can do that too.

You don't have to tell all in the letter if you don't want to be. You can even keep it simple where you just get the main point across and then discuss it with her later.

Or, if you think it would help, you can even talk to her or leave a note to her and say you need to speak with her. That way, when she approaches you about it, it's harder to back out.

Do you think it would be easier to tell someone else first and then sit down with them and your mom? By that, I mean someone such as a guidance counselor, teacher, or doctor you know would be accepting. They can help take some of the pressure off of you when you come out.

You can do this!

-Dez