my parents are unfair

[shxrt_blonde]

I'm a 16 yr old who is treated like a 6 yr old. I am the eldest of 5 with the youngest being 6. I currently go to bed at 9:30pm at the latest as my parents tell me to go to bed. This is the same time that the 6 yr old goes to bed. The time is not a problem its the fact that my parents are telling me to go to bed rather than giving me the freedom to choose when I go to bed. I share a room, but I wouldn't stay up till 3 am, I'd be sensible and go to bed an 10:30pm at the latest. If I stay up late and I'm tired then it's my own fault. My parents also tell me off if I don't vacuum my room. They tell me off because I'm meant to do it on a Friday and I end up doing it on a Sunday. I decide not to vacuum my room because I share with a 12 yr old who can easily vacuum a room. She may not be at home over the weekend (she stays with her dad) but she can do it before she goes or when she comes home. Last weekend I was told that the person I share a room with would vacuum the room but I've just been told off for not vacuuming my room by the person who told me I wouldn't have to vacuum my room. These aren't the only things that have happened but does it seem unfair?

[Pein]

Well they are teaching you a couple of good lessons. The main ones I see are work before you play, and being responsible to get your work done in a timely manner. Sure you may think its unfair. But when you get to the workplace the "unfair" stuff your parents made you do will come up again on the job. Maybe not exactly the same chores but being responsible to get your stuff done.

But that's just how I'd see it. But Im not them so I can't be 100 percent possible on that.

[Amandaapandaa]

Hey there,

I also have controlling/over protective parents. The thing is, they sort of start to slack off after they have their last kid. I'm the oldest of four and its pretty tough for me sometimes. Wait no, all the time
I'm the one who is responsible for everything whether or not its my fault or not. I think to some degree, my parents would have a hard time living their life without me and I'm not saying they are mentally retarded, I'm just saying they depend too heavily on me and maybe you feel that way too. I know you're only 16, but hopefully soon they will see that they are being a little too hard on you. But being the oldest, in expected of a lot the most out of the four of us. So I know how that goes.

So, to sum up (since I blabbed a lot ) I would just try to communicate that you feel like they depend on you for a lot? Its pretty typical in most families and I can totally relate to what you are going through now.

If you need anything or want a friend to chat with, I'm always around.



Hang in there,

~A

[shxrt_blonde]

Originally Posted by Amandaapandaa

Hey there,

I also have controlling/over protective parents. The thing is, they sort of start to slack off after they have their last kid. I'm the oldest of four and its pretty tough for me sometimes. Wait no, all the time
I'm the one who is responsible for everything whether or not its my fault or not. I think to some degree, my parents would have a hard time living their life without me and I'm not saying they are mentally retarded, I'm just saying they depend too heavily on me and maybe you feel that way too. I know you're only 16, but hopefully soon they will see that they are being a little too hard on you. But being the oldest, in expected of a lot the most out of the four of us. So I know how that goes.

So, to sum up (since I blabbed a lot ) I would just try to communicate that you feel like they depend on you for a lot? Its pretty typical in most families and I can totally relate to what you are going through now.

If you need anything or want a friend to chat with, I'm always around.



Hang in there,

~A

Thanks. I had a chat with my dad yesterday about it and he understands. The fact that I share a room doesn't help because I have to keep to the same rules as the person I share a room with as they're younger than me. My dad said that he understands that its unfair but it's hard to give me different rules to everyone else. After the chat that I had with him, he said that he would try and figure something out. The annoying thing was that I was reading in bed at half nine and my step mum came in and closed the blinds. She knew I was reading and just told me to go to bed. I find it unfair because I was reading and wouldn't disturb my roommate.

[Amandaapandaa]

Maybe express to your dad that you would like to have some time to yourself to do what you want before bed? I would also (if you want) try to get in your room a bit earlier so you can do what you want before they tell you its time for bed. I know its insanely hard when you have a curfew, but keep pressing your dad and he will probably end up giving in and letting you do whatever. Since your roommate is only 12, would it bother him/her if you turned on the light once your stepmom came in and turned them out so you could keep reading?

Hope this helps some.
~A