behind a wall of glass

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]wherever i am, i am out of place.
ive got trouble with talking, expressions and eye contact and it's bad. i have to put ton of effort into things others around me do naturally.... they often assume im mean and weird, when a kid has to talk to me in class they do it carefully like when you speak to an animal and its very awkward. it seems that awkwardness follows me whatever i do. i only feel comfortable alone or with my mom...

i guess thats obvious too but i havent had any friends since 10. i want to be normal so bad, live like others[/size][/color][/font]

[Ennui.]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this!

Do you think joining some clubs and social groups around town or in school would help? That way you know that the people you are talking to have similar interests to you and it can be a starting point for a conversation, meaning you can start off talking about the interest that you both share and then branch off and talk about other things as well. It can be good practice.

Are you the one that approaches people first, or do they approach you? If you approach people first you can start by introducing yourself and talking about the topic at hand, such as class, asking them a question, etc.

It may help if you practice in the mirror, or even with your mom. If you talk to your mom maybe you can explain to her that you are having problems with things like awkwardness and eye contact. You can ask her to pretend like she's a classmate or a stranger, and you can practice having a conversation with her. If you practice in the mirror it's more one-sided, but still may help you practice your tone and eye contact.

I'm sorry things have been rough for you lately.

Have you considered joining an after-school activity, or being more active in your local community? It can be difficult putting yourself out there, and the first impression people get of you won't always stick; but I suggest not worrying too much about that! Just let interaction flow organically, be yourself and let people get to know you. Don't try to force friendships because that never works.

Wishing you the best of luck, and please give updates if you feel comfortable doing so.