Adoptive sibling + Birthday

[achaley]

hello i am achaley this is what the deal is every year i have had a great birthday and mt whole fmaily has been there great cake and presents and cake the whole shabang a few months ago my parents decides to adopt a little girl and i was like cool but a few months later my parents decide too pick up her furnature on my 20th birthday and that i wouldnt see them much that day so i invited my girl friend over thinking she would make up for the imbalance but then i bearly get too spend any time with her that day beacuse im stuck painting her new room and the bathroom and when my parets do get home my moms friend drops by and we end up singing happy birthday and then she just talks with her friend for like 2 hours and i feel ignored my mom said she felt horrible about it and said she was sorry but im still angry and cant seem get over it its not like its always there but when i think about it i just get really pissed off how do i deal with this

[PSY]

Hello, Achaley. Welcome to TeenHelp! =)

When I was younger, my parents, relatives, etc. always made a big deal about my birthday. As I grew older, however, the parties weren't as extravagant. My parents would still buy me presents and take me out to dinner, and my grandparents would still call to wish me a happy birthday, but it wasn't the same. Now that I'm 22, birthdays aren't big deals. It's nice to be with family and friends, but I don't need to have x number of presents, eat at x restaurant, or go to x amusement park to say I had a good birthday. The important thing is to know you're loved and appreciated by the people who matter most to you. The physical acknowledgements aren't nearly as valuable as the verbal ones. <3

I can see why you were upset. I would be upset if my parents chose that particular day to pick up furniture and ask me to paint the bedroom/bathroom. I would want to know why it couldn't wait until the next day. Maybe it couldn't wait until the next day, though - perhaps your parents had to meet a certain deadline and have everything ready for your adopted sister. I don't know... and perhaps your unanswered question of, "Why THAT day?" is causing you to hold on to your anger and fail to gain closure. Why not talk to your parents about that day? Keep in mind that they DID apologize, though, so there's a fine line between clearing the air and beating a dead horse. Only talk about the problem if you really think it's going to improve the situation - don't bring it up if it will just lead to more hurt feelings on both sides.

I wish you all the best. Take care!