Death, Grieving and Coping With Loss Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.
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Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 20th 2012, 09:28 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
I hate myself that I need to write another thread here but I need to seriously get it out before I do something I won't have time to regret...
Okay, I was friends with this girl for three years, closely, and then when I left our school we stayed in contact but she'd moved to the popular bitches group and hated my other bestfriend, I tried to repair their friendship but instead it drove S from me. T is still my friend.
S's family was falling apart when I was there, her mother was diagnosed with bowel cancer which went to her ovaries and the marriage wasn't working. So the dad split, they lost their house and was forced to move.
Today, I found out that the older sister F had taken the car, most of their mother's money and then moved out. S (older brother) started smoking and drinking due to what was happening, and T (little sister) ran away and hasn't been seen for three months now  and NOW, S, my exbestfriend attempted suicide and succeeded  and now I don't know how I feel, angry, shocked, sad, I have been crying off and on since I heard and I just can't help thinking about tearing open my veins with a blade or downing my pills again... this time I have more to ensure I die... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I snapped at my brother/bestfriend! and Now I feel guilty over that! I'm angry at myself, I tried to help S when I moved but it just made things worse! I just want to die and see her again so I can repair OUR friendship! I vowed to do that and now I missed my chance and I didn't expect to hurt so much how can I start to heal? I'm not even able to go to the funeral!
Thanks for any help...
Jay.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly. 
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 20th 2012, 10:35 AM
Hey there,
I am sorry that this happened. It can be so hard to lose someone but you have to try and remember that you deserve to live. You have so many people in this life that love you and want you around that if you were to harm yourself they would be hurting.
I know that when a person is struggling with depression it can be really hard to see past the depression but remember this sadness will pass. Also, I honestly don't think that your friend would want you to harm yourself. I know that I think about harming myself sometimes but I could never fathom one of the people I've cared about in my life doing the same thing.
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? I know it might be hard to do but reaching out could do so much good. Maybe you could talk to your brother about this and explain why you snapped at him and go from there? I think that will help with some of the guilt you are feeling and it will probably give you someone to lean on.
Also, do you think you could try making a reasons to live list? I know that in the past this has helped me and maybe it will help you. Here is the link to teenhelps reasons to live link check that out and then try and make your own link and remember that no reason is too small.
I hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to PM/VM me.
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Member
I've been here a while
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Name: Jay
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 23rd 2012
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 20th 2012, 10:50 AM
Thank you for your reply,
I talked to him about it and he said he didn't care that I snapped at him but I still feel guilty because he is going through his own crap as well. Also, some of my anger came from me, I have empathy and he and I have a strong enough bond to have his pain transfer to me and add to mine.. It's annoying but I have to get used to it...
I only have a few things to look forward to, J and I don't know each other but we call each other bro and sis because we are so close and I'm going to go see him in a few years, that is if he keeps fighting.. I'm just worried I have no future to look forward to...
Jay.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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lost in wonderland
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 20th 2012, 12:59 PM
Jay,
You have so much to live for you are a great person. You have so many people that care about you. Plus, you get to come see me in two years  I am sorry about your friend, but even though you all had a disagreement she was still your friend and would not want you to hurt yourself.
Buddy since 11/17/12 Live Help Operator since 1/27/13 HelpLINK Mentor since 6/30/13
Email: tgentry7712@gmail.com send me an email if you want to. 
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 23rd 2012
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 20th 2012, 01:43 PM
I suppose that's true Thanks Tanya and yeah, I can't wait to come see you!
Jay.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Just Hold On We're Going Home~
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Name: Kay
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW ;)
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Join Date: July 2nd 2012
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 21st 2012, 07:48 PM
Hey Jay.
This broke my heart.
I am so sad to see you (and anyone you care about) going through such horrible things.
I will keep you and the others in my prayers and I hope that everything works out for the best.
If you ever need a friend, I'm here.
~Kay.
So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.
Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Jay
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!
Posts: 1,737
Points: 22,944, Level: 21 |
Join Date: August 23rd 2012
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 21st 2012, 09:10 PM
Thank you so much! I just need mourning time.
Jay.
Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Just Hold On We're Going Home~
Regular TeenHelper
*****
Name: Kay
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW ;)
Posts: 356
Points: 12,229, Level: 16 |
Join Date: July 2nd 2012
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Re: Grieving my exbestfriend... -
December 21st 2012, 11:29 PM
Okay honey. Take good care of yourself and don't let yourself get too down okay hun? Stay strong! And I'm always here if you need me.
So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.
Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."
What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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