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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jess~ Offline
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messaging anxiety? - April 24th 2016, 09:38 AM

so sometimes, when i send an email or PM/VM to people (not just on this site, but everywhere else too) and i see that they've replied (just by seeing the "1 new message" in the inbox icon or something; not by actually CLICKING on the message, oh god no..) i get this HUGE wave of nervousness and worried feeling.

i never open the message immediately, and usually don't open it until hours or even days later, after i've imagined and processed what it might say in my mind for all that time.

i know i could simply click on the message, and not have to worry about "oh, maybe i was too blunt and straightforward in my last message. maybe he didn't like that, and now he's going to call our whole new relationship off."
then i get stressed about that made-up scenario, work through how i would respond to and deal with that, and then move on to the next thing that could happen.

this is hella weird for me, because i'm usually a very spontaneous, carefree person. i usually don't give a rats ass about what people think of me. i'll say the stupidest things at a volume that is borderline obnoxious, and its gotten me in trouble more than once.

i should probably mention that i USUALLY only get this anxious feeling when i've messaged/texted someone when...
A. i have feelings for them/want to make a good impression
B. i don't know them very well
C. when i said something risky in my last message and am worried about their response/what they'll think of me

anyone else experience this?

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Re: messaging anxiety? - April 24th 2016, 10:02 AM

I used to feel like that when talking to somebody I cared about, but at this point, not really. Guess it passed.
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Re: messaging anxiety? - April 24th 2016, 11:53 AM

Yes! I thought I was the only one When I know I have a reply to an email or whatever, I may wait a while before reading it. This usually happens if I've been making an 'enquiry' so a bit formal, and I don't know the person. Usually worried about whether my enquiry was silly or not. Or it happens when I really admire and look up to someone, and am anxious about their response.

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Re: messaging anxiety? - April 24th 2016, 08:45 PM

I'm this way, too, with any messages I receive from anybody who isn't a part of my immediate family. Or sometimes even them if I've sent something risky, like you said, and am worried about the response I may have received.

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Re: messaging anxiety? - April 24th 2016, 08:48 PM

Oh for sure that happens to me all the bloody time, nothing to be ashamed of ^^ although I suffer from a small case of paranoia so its a bit more extreme for me haha. I don't know how many times ill see that new message and be like ima click it then im like oh I have to go do something, then come back two hours later and do it all over again and soon enough its been a day and still ain't opened it

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Re: messaging anxiety? - May 8th 2016, 10:20 AM

I do too like i really would like talking to new people because i have been shut off the last few years and this always happens to me but i also have social anxiety :0 i am always nervous because i feel most people will not even respond back and i have had that happen before!
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Re: messaging anxiety? - May 8th 2016, 11:52 PM

I get this way especially when I am emailing professors. I delay sending the message and then I delay checking my inbox because I get nervous about their response.

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Re: messaging anxiety? - May 9th 2016, 03:48 AM

My experiences are not as severe or substantial, but after sending an exceptionally important or contentious message, I will avoid using whichever service I sent it on for hours or even a few days, just because I don't know if I actually want an answer.


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Re: messaging anxiety? - May 9th 2016, 07:42 AM

I'm this way too. In all honesty I think it's quite normal to be anxious about reading a message from someone you like, someone you don't know well, or if the message the person is replying to had some sort of significance.

After all the years I've been on TeenHelp (and about a hundred applications), a message from Rob regarding an application I've submitted is always the most anxiety provoking.

“There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being.
There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill
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Re: messaging anxiety? - May 9th 2016, 09:45 PM

I actually get super excited when I have messages from anyone on anything. Even when I know what it is, and it's something that I feel like I should be anxious about, I always just want to know what it says. Unexpected, spontaneous messages are the most fun though.

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