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I feel like I cant actually stop smashing my phone -
April 16th 2022, 01:34 AM
I keep going through a cycle where I buy an iphone, treat it well, and then 6 months so later deliberately smash it into a million pieces during an anger episode. I cant seem to go more than half a year without smashing a phone. Ive almost smashed electronic stuff at work out of frustration and hopefully I never do. Ive treated laptops really well and then like one day an email was slow sending and I start hitting it until the harddrive disk reader is corrupted and damaged by the shock. Then I regret it, use an alternative like a very old ipad for several days and then buy a new one promising myself never to damage it. Protecting it well and then only to smash it months later.
When I am in that level of anger, it makes me actually want to see the phone, laptop, etc destroyed. Even though I am aware of how I will regret it, I cant seem to make myself not want to see the complete destruction of it in that moment. Even if I go long periods of many weeks without almost throwing my phone, i find it will always still randomly one day happen.