Religion Vs Self

[AboutAGirl]

For the past year or so, ever since I've learned that Buddhism is really about peace, tranquility, and the understanding of oneself, I thought about converting. Well, today I decided that I would take the step. Today I would bask in the knowledge of Buddhism, meditate on the teachings of the Buddha, and become one of the brother(and sister)hood.

Yet, as I was exploring the religion, I became aware that it really meant to live in this world without really being part of it. I really love the idea of being without stress, but at the same time I've lived my whole life as a dreamer. I've always sat in my bed at night before I fall asleep, fantasizing of what life could be like, what adventures I could have, how the world would grow to know and understand me unlike my parents and sisters. But, now, if I follow Buddhism and keep with the main principle of relieving myself of all wants and desires, would that be letting myself go? Would that mean that if I followed my dream of becoming a Buddhist that I will be letting go of all other dreams and the future that they could hold for me?

I would really appreciate some help, or at least some wise soul who could help me to understand myself at this point. Because, I know that if I really let myself go into this Buddhism there's no point of return. What do I choose?

[dr2005]

I can't claim any authority on Buddhism whatsoever so I'm afraid this will be fairly superficial in that regard. However, one of the more central tenets to attaining the state of bodhi and thereafter nirvana requires the rejection of the Ten Fetters, including belief in an individual self (or sakkāya-diṭṭhi). (Isn't Wikipedia great for filling gaps in terminology? ) On that basis, therefore, embracing Buddhism in the fullest sense is, as with many other religions, something which requires letting go of a large number of plans, ideas or aspirations for the future and following a set path. It's the same as Christian monasteries, for example, or indeed any situation where one dedicates oneself to a vocation - there will inevitably be sacrifices. As such, it comes down to how strongly you feel about the tenets of Buddhism and the extent to which you want to adopt those tenets in your life...and at the risk of carrying out a real cop-out, that's something only you can decide. The one thing to bear in mind is that just as not all Christians are monks (or nuns) and not all Muslims are imams (and so on and so forth for Judaism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Wicca etc.), being Buddhist does not mean you have to become a monk and decamp to a monastery for the rest of your life. It's a choice you can make, but not one you have to - it's entirely up to you.

Hope that helps and isn't just a well-intentioned ramble (of which I am guily on many occasions...) and good luck in working out what you want to do next.

[Xujhan]

My words of wisdom are: don't allow yourself to be constrained by a religion. All religions have some value to be found in them, and they all have some flaws. Remember that a religion is something you choose to help you lead your life, not something to live your life for you. If you feel that some parts of Buddhism aren't for you, then don't follow them; embrace the things that do help you, and then for what you still lack find answers elsewhere.

[Lizzie]

Buddhism, from what I have studied, is all about learning to separate yourself from worldly pleasures to become more one with God. And I highly respect Buddhists for their beliefs and goals in life. But, I love food way to much to be a Buddhist! I love life too much to be a Buddhist, even though it throws me curve balls all the time. And I enjoy learning from life and being apart of it. But Buddhism is more about learning to let go of life, almost the opposite of what I believe. And while I think it’s important to connect yourself with God, I personally don’t believe going about it in that manner. There are plenty of other faiths out there to look into that can bring you a more stress free life and peace with yourself. Just keep looking. No need to jump into anything.

[Hiraeth]

Hey there,

I am very new to this path as well, so I can only offer my own experience, not much in the way of clarifying teachings and principles. It is quite likely that you are more knowledgeable than me in that regard. But perhaps the insight of another in a similar position may be of help to you in some way.

I have always been skeptic of all religions; always followed my intuition. It's interesting, because out of all the established religions old and new, Buddhism was always the closest to what were my own scattered set of free, transitory spiritual beliefs. Plenty of people just presumed I was a Buddhist by the concepts which I often conveyed in discussions - that, or they strongly urged me to look into it. But I never did; I was even persuaded to get involved with a Buddhist meditation group once, but it didn't quite feel right at the time, so I did not stay for long. I wanted to focus on developing a clear understanding of my own spirituality - and the notion of conforming to any existing teaching, no matter how attractive it seemed, felt restrictive.

So I put it all behind me and continued on my own spiritual journey. It's been several years now, and I have indeed developed a reasonably coherent spiritual view and approach to my existence. And it wasn't until, amidst a significant spiritual and existential crisis, I encountered someone (indeed, several different encounters - there are no genuine coincidences, are there?) who reminded me - that perhaps, Buddhist teachings could offer the answers to the very specific questions that I have been posing, yet never receiving any answer to. So I did, though still skeptically. I started to just casually read whatever was out there and easily accessible - and was, mindblown beyond words as to how exactly everything I had read, just about perfectly described some aspect of my own beliefs and pursuits, that I had developed on my own, without any external pressures if not a great amount of resistance.

I firmly believe that this is the best attitude by which one could declare oneself a follower of any religious teaching, should they decide to do so. It is crucial to have a fundamental level of self-awareness first - so you do not discover, some time into your journey, that you have really been repressing important aspects of your spirit to fit into some mold after all. The spirit is unconstrained; spirituality is inherently a transcendental activity. To limit oneself even here - that would be very unfortunate.

And, yes, converting does not entail a permanent commitment. Nothing stops you from embracing a different belief system altogether later on, should you find that appropriate. I, personally, am reluctant to call myself a 'Buddhist' for that reason, even though there is very little doubt as to the suitability of this path for me - labels feel inherently restricting in the realm of the spirit. I think I would only label myself once I am accepted to a committed monastic community - as that is quite different.

Don't be afraid to follow your intuition. Even if it may lead you down seemingly elusive paths at times - everything comes together in the end.

Good luck. Feel free to PM me if you wish to discuss anything further.
Kaisada