Thank You, TeenHelp!

[PSY]

Hi everyone!

I'm Robin (PSY), one of the Project Coordinators for TeenHelp. I, along with Rob and Halcyon, ensure our community has the resources it needs to support teens and young adults all around the world. Regardless of who you are and how long you've been a member of TeenHelp, I want you to know that you matter, and I'm so glad you're here to connect with us as you go through life's emotional highs and lows.

Earlier this week, I received the Volunteer of the Year award - which was entirely unexpected, and so deeply appreciated! I was actually the first staff member to receive the Volunteer of the Year waaaay back in 2014, so it was interesting to look at both posts and reflect on what has and hasn't changed as I was writing this post.

That's right... in case you haven't caught on by now, this is a good-bye post, one that I've struggled to write for a couple of months. It's with great difficulty and sadness that I'm announcing my resignation after being a staff member for sixteen and a half wonderful years.

Before I share my reasons for leaving, I want to start with why I joined the TeenHelp community all those years ago, and why I stayed for as long as I did.

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Back in the late 2000s, before social media platforms like Facebook were more widely used, forums and chat rooms were the primary vehicles for receiving online support for mental health concerns. The problem was that there weren't many reputable communities out there. You could find people who would provide advice, but you had to take what they said with a huge grain of salt. Those communities also tended to be sparsely moderated and poorly maintained, so you rarely got the sense that it was worth sticking around once you received the answers you were looking for. Seeking help tended to be transactional - you asked a question, got a reply, and moved on.

My journey with TeenHelp began in June 2009. I was an administrator for another online community at the time (one that had an entirely different focus), and I was looking for mental health resources that I could share with those members. I happened to come across TeenHelp, and it was love at first sight! Members made a point of welcoming me after I made my first couple of posts in the forums. There were so many different areas of the community to explore - the forums, a chat room, an e-magazine (anyone remember Avatar?!), social groups, and blogs. As a psychology major who had aspirations of becoming a mental health professional someday, I couldn't get enough of this amazing community. I wanted to learn as much as I could, and contribute as much as I could! I became a "regular" in the Relationships and Dating section of the forums and decided to apply for Staff as soon as I could (which was one month later, lol). I started off as a HelpLINK Mentor in July 2009, then gradually took on the roles of Forum Moderator (December 2009), Article Editor aka Articles Writer (June 2010), Social Networking Officer (May 2011), Volunteering Officer (October 2012), Project Advisor aka Lead Moderator (April 2014), Operations Team Leader (March 2015), and Project Coordinator (November 2019). I also served on a variety of committees and teams that no longer exist, but were focused on supporting TeenHelp's processes and long-term projects (you can see the list in my profile, under "About Me," if you're curious).

TeenHelp was a focal point in my life for close to a decade. I graduated with my bachelor's degree, then my master's degree, and went on to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California. I ended a long-term relationship, then started a new one, and married my incredible husband. Jobs, friendships, and so many other things would come and go, but TeenHelp was always there, offering something to do or someone to comfort. I had a sense of purpose, which felt incredible. On paper, it may look like I gave a lot more to TeenHelp than I received in return, but that's not true. Being a part of this community significantly improved my self-esteem and helped me better understand the nature of my social anxiety. I know I'm a better person for having been on Staff, and I'll always be grateful to Rob and past staff members who saw my potential and gave me the opportunity to serve in so many different capacities!

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It's hard to imagine a life without TeenHelp... so why am I leaving? It comes down to a few reasons:

1. My philosophy on leadership. In recent years, I was elected to serve as the President for a Board of Directors that oversees a large professional organization. I was also hired as a Clinical Supervisor to oversee the work of mental health professionals who are early in their careers. These experiences, along with my work with online communities, solidified my leadership style. I won't bore you with all the specifics, but essentially, I believe it's important for me to lead by example. If I want members of my team to do something, then I need to demonstrate I'm doing that as well. For TeenHelp, that means actively participating in the development and maintenance of this community, keeping in mind what will appeal to teens and young adults now and in the future. As much as I hate to admit it, I no longer have the time and energy needed to usher TeenHelp into the second half of this decade and beyond.

2. Shifting needs and priorities. As I mentioned above, my life looks very different now than it did in 2009 - thankfully, in mostly positive ways! I'm happily married with two furbabies. I have a supportive group of friends. I love, love, LOVE working in the mental health field. I enjoy reading books, playing video games, and learning more about myself and the world around me when I have free time. As much as I love TeenHelp, there are many competing priorities, and I can't do it all. I was 20 when I joined TeenHelp, and I'm 36 () now... so in addition to having a full plate, I'm finding that age necessitates taking life at a slightly different pace. My heart says "stay with TeenHelp," but my mind and the rest of my body have made it clear that I need to honor my limited bandwidth. I don't do new year's resolutions - instead, I choose a word to focus on for the year, and this year's word is "health." Sitting at a computer for hours on end no longer aligns with my health goals.

3. TeenHelp has changed. If you've been around for as long as I have, then you know TeenHelp has become a far less active community in recent years. I think there are many contributing factors, two of them being a shift toward using social media platforms vs. online forums and chat rooms, and turning to AI vs. peers for mental health support and advice. The version of TeenHelp that I fell in love with in 2009 no longer exists, and I don't believe it's coming back. I've been mourning the loss of that version of TeenHelp for some time, and one of the reasons why I remained on Staff was because I hoped we could bring it back in some form, but I recognize now that we need fresh perspectives and motivated leaders to determine what the next version of TeenHelp will look like. Countless studies have shown that engaging with social media platforms negatively impacts the mental well-being of teens, and people are starting to realize the dangers of relying on AI for mental health support and advice. Once teens and young adults start to recognize the need for genuine human connection and begin to seek out alternatives, I believe there's a real opportunity for TeenHelp to come back into the spotlight as a reputable community that can offer what people are looking for. I'm passing the baton to whoever will succeed me in this endeavor.

Saying good-bye isn't easy for me. I've started and stopped the process of resigning more times than I can count over the past six months. It's a testament to how important TeenHelp is to me. I've spent nearly half of my life, and almost all of my adult life, with this community! I've noticed that a lot of members who leave TeenHelp promise to come back from time to time to say "hello" and see how everyone is doing. I won't make that promise to you, because I don't know if I can keep it. If you send PMs and VMs to me on-site, there's a good chance I won't respond, because I won't be here to see the notifications. Instead, I promise to respond to your off-site messages. You can reach me via Discord (talktopsy) or email (the same as what you see for my Discord username at gmail dot com - I'm spelling this out in hopes that bots won't pick it up and go to town on sending spam!).

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So what's next for me? If you have a crystal ball, please let me know!

In all seriousness, I'm going to keep supporting teens and young adults through my work as a Therapist and Clinical Supervisor. I suspect my passion for supporting this age range will never go away, and that I'll continue to find myself in spaces that allow me to advocate for greater access to mental health care and resources that help teens and young adults move from merely "surviving" to truly "thriving."

I'm going to approach this next phase of my TeenHelp-less life with curiosity and compassion. Many years ago, one of my mentors talked about the distinction between our "roles" and our "souls." He said that our roles (spouse, partner, parent, child, worker, student, etc.) can change over time, and when we tie up too much of our self-worth in the roles that we have, we can lose our sense of purpose once we no longer have those roles due to a death or loss. So he encouraged exploration of what's in our souls, or the essence of who we are and what's inherently good about us, regardless of what roles we have at any given moment.

As I let go of my Project Coordinator role, I know I will continue to find ways to connect with what's in my soul. I'm a healer, a mentor, and a lifelong learner. Thank you, TeenHelp, for giving me so many opportunities to affirm that.

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On a final note, I want to personally acknowledge several people for the lasting impact you've had on me. Some of you are no longer active on TeenHelp, but if you ever come back and see this post, I want you to know how much you meant to me when you were here. In no particular order:

Rob - Do you still have your old avatar? You know the one I'm talking about... THE CREEPY EYE!!! I thought you were sooo intimidating when I first joined TeenHelp, and that avatar certainly didn't help. I've enjoyed seeing your silly side as we've gotten to know each other better (the temporary holiday-themed username changes we did back in 2020 - "PSYlent Night", "Red Nosed Rob", and "Halcyon and the Ivy" - were pure genius). Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve as a staff member for all of these years, and especially as a Project Coordinator for the past six years. I know it took a lot of trust on your part to give me access to TeenHelp's "nuclear codes," and I've never taken it for granted. Thank you for continuing to support TeenHelp in all the ways that you do, in spite of your busy professional and personal life. I'll miss volunteering alongside you, and I wish you all the best.

Haley- Look at how far we've come! You and I started as HelpLINK Mentors around the same time, and then we worked on Avatar together (oh my gosh, I remember how much time and energy went into making TeenHelp's e-magazine!). We diverged for a period of time to focus on different aspects of the community (operations for me, publications for you), but I always felt connected to you because of our shared vision for TeenHelp... and then, we converged again as Project Coordinators. I'm comforted to know you'll still be by Rob's side after I resign, because TeenHelp wouldn't be what it is and where it is without you. Thank you for being an amazing teammate, and an amazing person.

Emmie - You are by far one of the kindest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know. You took full advantage of the "Talk to PSY" option - and I'm so glad you did! When we first started meeting, it was to brainstorm about how we could support TeenHelp's members. As time went on, we shifted away from that and developed a friendship that I refuse to let go of once I resign! You know how to reach me outside of TeenHelp, and please know you will never, ever be bothering me when you do so.

Bex - Thank you for holding me, and other staff members on TeenHelp, accountable. TeenHelp needs members like you to point out problems and help generate solutions! I know that our experiences with TeenHelp have been vastly different, and we haven't always seen things the same way; however, I believe we've forged a special bond that transcends the challenges we've encountered. I sincerely wish you all the best, and don't hesitate to say "hello" when you're up for it!

Sam - You're still the one and only staff member that I've had the pleasure of meeting in real life! I remember having our conversation about TeenHelp, mental health, and relationships as we sipped our milk tea. I'm sorry we haven't been able to stay in regular contact over the years, and please know I'm always a text or phone call away if you want to reconnect!

Dez, Cassie, Holly, and Charlie - You've been incredible staff members, and you've deserved all the accolades and praise you've received over the years. I know there's a lot happening for each of you outside of TeenHelp, and I hope you'll be as active as you can be, for as long as you can be. It's hard to imagine this community without you in it, and whenever the time comes for you to resign, I hope you'll have a solid replacement ready to fill your very big shoes. Feel free to stay in touch - send me pictures of your furbabies and share life updates when you can!

Mel, Katrina, Jessie, and Amy - Thank you for being some of the first members of the community to welcome me with open arms, to encourage me to apply for Staff, and to congratulate me on joining Staff!

Adam, Brandon, Brittany, Casey, Chantal, Cheye, Christina, Court, Craig, Dawn, Frankie, Hollie, Jen, Jess, Jordan, Junior, Kayla, Kitty, Lizzi, Lizzie, Lou, Louise, Lynds, Mallika, Nicole, Paige, Raven, Sarah, Stephanie, Sue, Traci, Trish, (and I'm sure there are other people whose names just aren't coming to me at the moment... I'm so sorry!) - You are and were the community of TeenHelp. Thank you for making this place what it is.

From the deepest place in my heart... thank you, everyone. I love you, and take care!

[Oneirophobia]

I'm not crying, as I am reading this,.
It was like yesterday when i joined, and first met you, you helped me grow, and become one of many volunteers on Teenhelp. As most of us you helped shape who we were/are as volunteers. I myself want to thank you for everything you have done here.
Its with much sadness that we have to say good-bye to you. Many of us will miss seeing you around, and all the good chats that came with seeing you.

I wish you the absolute best in your future endeavors. I wish you the most happiest of life ahead, and hope one day you do pop back in, and see all the awesome things that come of this site, because even though your saying good-bye you helped shape this site into what it is, what it will be, you are and forever will be a legacy to this place.

We will miss you dearly <3

- Kayla

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Robin Reading this makes me feel so sad. When I first joined staff you were so nice and helpful to me from making HelpLINK Mentor all the way up to Project Officer. You truly care about all of the staff and no matter what we needed help with, you never left us and always helped us so we could understand what we we're doing. I am so thankful I was able to get to know you. I wish you all of the best of luck working with teens and young adults, you are going to do a lovely job because I see how you are on teenhelp helping out all of the staff and us talking all the time. You are going to help out so many people who come to you, you have a special light in you that makes others want to come to you, be around you and talk about what they are going through. Good things will come your way. Teenhelp will be different without you. Sending you lot's of love.