Triggering (SH): Better Off Dead... (Poem...Kinda)

[iambatman]

Every time I pick up my blade I think, why am I doing this?
Then I realize how much you hurt me.
You hurt me so bad I'd rather end my life.
I realize you never cared.
I realize you were fake this whole time.
Why would you make me want this?
Every time I pick up my lighter to smoke I think, why am I doing this?
Then I realize it's a habit you put me up to.
I realize my lungs don't matter, I'll die anyway.
I realize it feels so good; the way my throat hurts.
Then the final time I tie the noose I think, is this is what you want?
Then I realize you would be happier; without me.
I realize I never mattered to you.
Then as I put the rope over my head I think, why doesn't she care?
Then I realize you wont run in here to save me.
So I let go.
I let go of the pain, the guilt, and the sorrow.
When you walk in you glance at me and smile.
I am watching you.
I AM HAUNTING YOU.
You seem happier now.
Now that I am gone.
You are back to smiling, no longer looking angry.
I am happy you're happy.
I am better off dead.

[Ennui.]

Heya,

I'm moving this to Self Expression because this is more a piece of creativity that gets out your emotions than it is asking for advice.

That being said, I can tell that there is a lot of emotion behind this piece. I like how you ended this and I also like some of the questions you asked and details you used.

-Dez

[iambatman]

Thanks.......?