Pregnant and alone. /:

[dejaentendu0]

I found out a week ago that I'm pregnant. It's not confirmed yet, but I'm most likely 6 weeks along. The only thing I've decided is that my parents NOR my boyfriend are going to be informed. My parents would kill me for my age and the age difference in me and my boyfriend (he's twenty, I'm sixteen). And I'm not telling him because I don't think he needs the stress in his life right now. Although I think he suspects it anyway.

I'm debating between adoption and abortion (my boyfriend would lean towards abortion. He's already shared that view). I'm also leaning more towards that way, but I want to know everything I possibly can before I make the decision. Although I'm pretty sure I have but 3 weeks to decide if I want an abortion - as I'm not sure I can do the in-clinic. It sounds too hard, so I'd lean more for the pill form.

On top of that, I'm broke. I lost my job. He's broke. He lost his job. We're both trying to get back on our feet and we can't pay for the necessities that come with pregnancy. I haven't had my pregnancy confirmed, I haven't a clue how far I am other than a guess, and I can't pay for hospital visits and such.
And if abortion is my path at the end of this, I can't pay for it. I don't know HOW I'd get money. I'm feeling trapped already.

Is there any advice that I can get on the matter?
Any tips on dealing with the pregnancy I have before me?
I've been sleeping so much lately. And I've been so unbearably nauseous. What can I do about that? Crackers haven't been helping and it's getting ridiculous looking I'm taking in BOXES of crackers at a time.
On top of that, my back is hurting and my ankles swollen. And my mood is swinging each and every way at the drop of a pin.
I've cried over the stupidest things and my depression is spiraling downward because of this.
Any advice on how to help ease this?
I really don't need my depression worse right now... /:

[facade]

well, as bad as this sounds because im like going against my religion and all.
but an abortion might be the best thing.
because even if you go for adoption, youll still have to buy the maternity clothes, and doctor visit fees.
but if you ever do find the money to get one and you dont want anyone
to know about you getting an abortion... i suggest planned parenthood.
at their website, they have smoe information about abortions and everything else.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/index.htm

:]

[Stardaze]

I'm not going to tell you what to do. I am pro-life and not in support of abortions. I would personally go with adoption but I'm not in your shoes. Talk it over with your boyfriend and your family. Maybe go from there.
Remember your not alone, we are all here to listen and help you through this rough time.
Good luck.

[gothic_gymnast]

You need to reconsider the abortion.. You felt you were responsible enough to have sex, when you obviously weren't so now you need to take responsiblity for your actions and suffer the consequences. If you arent ready for a baby, give it up for adoption, but dont kill it. Give the poor thing a chance at life. You will be giving a great gift to a couple that would otherwise not be able to have a child. Sorry if ti sounds harsh, but its how i feel...

And there are always options for insurance, like medicaid.. If you can get onto medicaid, which if your unemployed and pregnant you will be able to do no problem, all expenses are paid for you and there are no co-pays for doctors visits for you to pay....

But it honestly does sound like you are....

[Megan09]

I agree with the post above. If you were responsible enough to have sex, then you are responsible enough to deal with the consequences, which in this case happen to be a baby. Being pro-life, I don't think it's fair for you to have an abortion when you were the one who had sex and caused the baby. I think you should go with adoption - there are plenty of capable parents out there trying to have a baby that can't, and one of these couples will love to be parents to your lovely baby.

[Dana]

Do what you feel is right for you.

Obviously your parents and boyfriend are going to find out if you opt for adoption-- you're going to have to endure a lot of heat if you go that route, from your family and your peers. However, most families do come around and will be supportive (maybe they would support your hospital fees, maternity clothes?). However, you might get too attached, and if you raise the baby yourself you might need to drop out of school, get a job, pay for diapers, formula, doctor, etc. There are also increased risks associated with having a baby at a younger age.

It sounds like you are not in a good state to raise a baby-- mentally or financially. If I were in your situation, I would probably opt for an abortion, the sooner the better. However, you should consider telling your boyfriend before you do anything... he can provide some support. You might also want to re-consider what kind of birth control you were using, if any.

PM me anytime.

[Jocelyn.]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation If you need to talk, PM me please.

I went through the steps toward having an abortion, and decided not to go through with it, so if you have any questions feel free to ask. My advice it to stay away from crisis centers. They pop up around actual abortion clinics and try to trick you into thinking they are an abortion clinic. They then try to talk you out of your decision, and give you false statistics to make you feel like a bad person for considering abortion.

Abortion isn't the right decision for everyone, but if you feel its right for you then don't let others make you feel guilty for your decision. Their is a lot of emotional baggage that comes along with both abortion and adoption, you just have to decide which path will be easier for you to handle. For me, I also thought the medical abortion was the right way to go but it was too late for me and I think that's why I couldn't go through with it. Nurses at abortion clinics are very supportive for the most part, and are there to help you through the process. I'd recommend going to planned parenthood too, they are also there to talk through your options with you, and give you lists of places where you can go whether you choose parenting, adoption or abortion.

As for the nausea... I had it really bad also. I couldn't even keep water down. I recommend gatorade and ginger snaps, they always helped my stomach. Also, eat even if you don't feel hungry. Sometimes just having something on my stomach made it feel so much better.

I know you say that you are broke (I was jobless and moneyless also) but if you end up deciding to go through with raising a child, get on medicaid (assuming you live in the US?). It pays for everything. Even if you went to a doctor or hospital while on no insurance for something related to the pregnancy, they will still pays those bills for you. It saved me.

Good luck, and like I said... I'm here anytime to talk.

[Daydreamer]

Everyone here has said almost everything I wanted to say except for this, in most cases that future adoptive parents will pay for the medical expenses. I would strongly encourage you to go to planned parenthood and get the pregnancy confirmed and find out about how far along you are, and then from there on talk to them about your options. I would also suggest going to an adoption agency near you, and asking them to talk to you also about your options. I wish you only the best, but I seriously hope you consider adoption, as there are so many families longing to provide a child with an amazing home. All the best, Megan

[Lizzie]

A pregnancy resource center you might want to check out is http://awomansconcern.com/index.htm. They have information on adoption and abortion you can also email them any questions may you have. I have met the woman who runs the clinic in my area, they have clinics around the country, and she is very nice and extremely helpful with these types of decisions.

I also know that I have to say that I think aborting a child is killing a child and I hope you make the choice to carry the child to term so that a family, who desperately wants a child who can’t, can have the opportunity to have a family.

[NatashaJayne]

I had a abortion and it took me ages to get over it i wished i had put him or her up for adoption, then again i didnt know i had the option. there are many people wishing they could have children and cant and then young people get pregnant then end up terminating them, you could make someone very happy giving up your child instead of aborting, to me it seems the right thing but that is just my opinion. goodluck :]

[flowerchild32273]

I really think you should talk to your boyfriend about it.. you didnt create this baby on your own and you have stress in your life also. he should be there to support you in whatever you choose. do the research about abortion and adoption and also health insurance. maybe adoptive parents would be willing to help you with medical costs if nothing else? im not really sure as i havent been in your position. im not going to tell you whats right or wrong, i just suggest you research your options ^_^