Getting through the holiday season

[TeenHelp]

Getting through the holiday season
By Cassie (Cassado)

The holidays are quickly approaching for thousands of people around the globe. They are an exciting time for some, but others are thankful when the holiday season comes to a close. Some people have toxic families, while others struggle with loneliness. This article will suggest different things to try if you're lonely, overwhelmed by spending time with family, nervous about holiday meals, or if the holiday season in itself is unpleasant.

The holiday season as a whole

If you are bothered by the holiday season itself, try to participate in anything you do like about the holiday. For example, you might not like Christmas, but you could decide to decorate the tree, watch Christmas movies, or shop for your loved ones if you enjoy those activities. Doing this can help lift your spirits and make the holiday seem more bearable.

If you are reminded of previous bad experiences around this time of year, make new meanings and traditions you can continue to uphold. For instance, if a triggering person in your family made a particular festive dish, make another dish instead. If you have toxic family members and have had holidays revolve around them, make the holiday about taking care of yourself and giving to healthy, positive people in your life.

Think about what, if anything in particular, about the holidays is triggering so you can figure out how to cope with the way you're feeling. If you find visiting family triggering, you might bring a comforting object on your trip or keep a safe person around you.

Volunteer at or give to toy or food drives to help people less fortunate. Volunteering is a good way to get out of the house for a change of scenery. By volunteering you will help other people while you are helping your mental health.

Spending time with unhealthy people

Often, the holidays bring family and friends together. Visiting family should be fun, but it can be difficult if you have unhealthy or unsupportive family members. Consider having a safe person you can talk to, or bring along with you. This can be a family member or friend you trust. Having someone you trust with you can help you feel safer in your environment.

Don't let other family members make you feel like you have to show affection to triggering people. Saying no to affection can be hard, but you have to do what you are most comfortable with. If being affectionate with certain family members will hinder your recovery, don't be afraid to say no. If the person you say no to has an issue with it, that is on themselves and not on you. Additionally, don't feel like you have to answer potentially upsetting or insensitive questions. You have a right to keep your life private and you don't have to answer anything that makes you uncomfortable.

It can be tough to make the best of things when the people around you are grumpy or passive aggressive. Try to remember that you can't control other people or your feelings about what other people are doing or saying, but you can control your reactions. Other people can be grumpy if they'd like to, but that doesn't have to bring you down, too.

Keep your expectations lower while still thinking positively. The holidays can be a good time, but lowering your expectations can make you less likely to become disappointed or triggered, especially if you are visiting family members.

Take some time for yourself if you are able to. Whether your family is staying at your home, or you're staying at your family's home, a lot of people in a small space can be overwhelming. You can take a walk outside, take a drive somewhere, find a quiet corner of the house, or do whatever makes you feel less overwhelmed.

Struggling with holiday meals

Holiday meals can be triggering, particularly if you have toxic family or if you struggle with disordered eating. You may benefit from planning as much as you can about your meal. For example, know where your exits are in case you need a breather and know what different foods will be available to you.

Holiday meals, especially dinner, often get a lot of emphasis on how large they are thought to be in comparison to a regular meal. Holiday meals can be large in that there are often more people and more foods to choose from. Try not to "prepare" for these meals by restricting or by otherwise engaging in unhealthy behaviors. Instead, keep eating regularly and keep a healthy pattern.

Do what you can do to decrease your stress or anxiety. Stress can contribute to your urge to give in to disordered eating behaviors. You can decrease stress by prioritizing what you'd like to do this season while continuing to do self-care activities.

Before or after your meals, try to engage your family and friends in activities that do not involve food. For example, you can play outside, watch movies, or play board games. Doing something before or after your meals can help occupy your mind.

Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Talk to your therapist, dietician, family member, or friend about your feelings and thoughts so you don't have to keep it all inside.

Dealing with loneliness

While some people dislike being around their families, some struggle with loneliness if they don't have family or friends to spend time with. People can also feel lonely in a room filled with others. If you struggle with loneliness, try to make plans around the holidays so you don't have time to be idle. For instance, you could look into seasonal jobs or you can volunteer, as mentioned above. Both examples provide a change of scenery and socialization to help combat loneliness.

If you have pets, spend time with them. You can also spend time with other people's pets, or look into pet sitting for your neighbors if they are going to travel. Pets are great companions and they might help you feel less lonely.

You can consider spending time in public if you're lonely. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to; just being around people can help improve your mood. You could try window shopping, going to the movie theater, or attending a holiday related cooking class so you can try new recipes.

Give to yourself. If you don't have anyone you can give to, focus on giving to yourself. If there's something you've had your eye on for a while but haven't purchased, buy it for yourself if your finances allow it. Above all, give yourself the gift of self-care.

If you don't have anyone you feel you can talk to, find a community such as TeenHelp with people you can confide in about your loneliness this holiday season. Chances are that someone else will relate to how you're feeling. If you do have someone you can trust, ask for what you need. Maybe that's eating lunch together or doing some holiday decorating.

Continue using your coping skills

In addition to the suggestions listed above, continue to use coping skills you would normally use during other parts of the year, as the hustle and bustle of the season can make you feel more stressed than usual. Continued use of established coping skills can help decrease your stress overall and make the holiday season more bearable.