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My lovelife is the Hokey-Pokey
 Experienced TeenHelper ****** 
Name: Summer :D
Age: 19
Gender: queer female
Location: Iraw
Posts: 545
Join Date: February 12th 2009
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She's still in hs, and I'm in college... This is all so new -
October 8th 2011, 05:51 AM
Okay, so my girlfriend is 10 months younger than me, and I'm a freshman in college, so she's a senior in high school. She lives in the same town as my college, and her mom knows we're together and likes me, but won't let her stay over at my dorm. I totally understand her reasons, but it's frustrating because I don't want to let her go home when we've been spending time together. Her mom's concerns are completely warranted, but also completely unnecessary, because I don't plan on having sex with her any time soon.
Any idea how I can talk to her mom? “I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978
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(#2 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
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Name: Stephen Davis
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Flatland
Posts: 1,498
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: She's still in hs, and I'm in college... This is all so new -
October 9th 2011, 05:26 AM
That's a tough one, but there's hope. It's good that her mom's ok with the idea of you two together, you're way ahead there. Just give it time and get to know her mom so she's comfortable around you and trusts you. After all, that's her little girl you're eventually going to have sex with and the more she knows you the better.
What just happened?
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(#3 (permalink))
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Psychologist
Senior TeenHelper
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Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 864
Join Date: September 9th 2011
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Re: She's still in hs, and I'm in college... This is all so new -
October 9th 2011, 02:17 PM
Hi Summer,
I'm not sure how you can see her mom's concerns as warranted, yet also unnecessary. If something is warranted, isn't it also necessary?  Anyways, I like her mom. She's recognizing the emotional needs of her daughter, and also her emotional vulnerabilities, too. She sounds open minded and enlightened. You can work with this, and you can also tolerate it b/c there's a better chance she'll continue to evolve her position as she gets more information about the newness of this current situation, and feels more comfortable with it. Your task is to give that to her, indirectly. With that in mind, (unless I've got that part there all wrong about her), this might be one of those situations where patience is the best advice. You can ask your g/f what her mom's concerns are, just so you have that info, it's important. Then, you can try to address those concerns not directly with her mom (which could be experienced by her as a challenge no matter how you put it), but to make sure you're saying/doing/behaving in ways to give her the new info she needs to get comfortable with this next step. PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.
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