Gender identity - is there a word for this?

[Ennui.]

Hey all!

I want to start out by saying that I am okay with not having an exact label for my gender identity and I know that labels are not important, but I'm just curious.

My experience is that I wear clothes that people typically assign as "feminine," but I don't like having the body parts that people associate with someone being female. I'm sorry that this probably sounded bad. I have a headache and can't brain. When I did my intake for group therapy, the intake person was confused because I am female-presenting and don't care what pronouns I am called, but am questioning my gender identity.

But it's more my physical characteristics than the way I dress. I don't like having a period so I stop it. Part of the reason I stop it is because my periods suck in general, but I also don't like being associated with being a reproductive person. I don't like having breasts and wear a bra all the time, even when I am sleeping, because I don't like my nipples showing through. I don't like the idea of having "female presenting nipples" and don't like how they look in the mirror.

Basically, if you imagine a doll or something. They don't really have a ton of external characteristics. I mean, I guess "female" dolls have breasts, but maybe you can imagine a "male" doll that's basically flat chested and doesn't have genitals. That's how I want to be? I want to be nothing?

Idk if this makes sense but is there a word for that?

[Kate*]

The closest are probably agender, genderqueer, and non-binary.

[Stacey]

As Kate said, while gender is such a spectrum and even within "labels" of gender identity it can mean different things for different people, what seems to fit most with what you're expressing is agender, non-binary.

There are a bunch of great things to read about this that may help you better understand those terms and yourself:
Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe
Beyond the Gender Binary By ALOK VAID-MENON
How to Understand Your Gender: A Practical Guide for Exploring Who You Are
Life Isn't Binary: On Being Both, Beyond, and In-Between