parents opinion on me being transgender

[Em0bxy]

So my parents know I'm transgender, but the thing is is that they don't accept it. They think because my boyfriends trans, I'm just trying to fit his "needs" to be gay. I completely disagree with my parents, mainly because that's just not how being trans works. IT's honestly annoying and I need advice on how to explain to them I lied about being my deadname and she/her and going back into our catholic religion to make my father happy?...

[Moxie.]

Hey Ashton,

I'm sorry to hear that your parents aren't accepting of your trans identity.

I'm sure it's frustrating to hear your parents say that you're only identifying as trans because your boyfriend does. Your gender identity is completely valid on its own and isn't contingent on how anyone else identifies. Perhaps you could provide them with some reading materials or show them some videos on YouTube to help them learn more about what it means to be trans. Keep in mind that doing so might not change their mind or lead to their acceptance. However, providing them with opportunities to learn is a great first step.

It sounds like it might not be safe for you to tell your parents that you lied. While they might not do anything dangerous, you may find that their reactions negatively impact you, which can lead to engaging in harmful behaviors to cope. No one should have to keep their identity a secret, but sometimes it's the best route to take. Even though you might not be able to open up to your parents, there might be other areas of your life where you can be yourself. For example, you can share your preferred name and pronouns with close friends and ask them to use those when you aren't around your parents. You can also choose clothing or other forms of gender expression that feel validating and honor your gender identity. I know having to compartmentalize like that is less than ideal, but it seems like it be the best solution for your current situation.

Please remember that your identity is valid, no matter what other people say! I promise there will come a day where you don't have to hide your true self anymore.

Take care,
Sam

[Em0bxy]

I'm still even questioning if I'm actually trans. I feel like I'm nonbinary, not trans binary, so there's that too, they believe two genders, trans or not, that's it