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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Question boyfriend blues - August 7th 2013, 07:52 AM

well my bf and i hav been together almost a year now. we've kind of always been the fight and make up type. but we both are starting to hurt eatchother alot lately. and he had relations with another girl the short period we had broken up. iv forgiven but not forgotten. and i had major trust issues to begin with. and now hes been out of town for a while. and my mom has put me on complete restriction of everything. it seems like were doomed but he said he'd stick with me... i guess i just need someones input.
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Re: boyfriend blues - August 7th 2013, 02:21 PM

Do you have any way to communicate and keep in contact with your boyfriend like Facebook or by phone? If you do, if may be a good idea to ask him if he's free sometime soon so the two of you can talk things out. Communication is important in any and all relationships. If you're both unable to keep in contact the best thing you can do is wait until he returns home. It might be hard to wait it out and see what becomes of it but it's the best thing you can do until then. Once he returns home, let him settle in a little, see how he is and all the general things. Once he's settled, approach and talk to him telling him how you feel.

I know it's hard to come to terms with the fact he had relations with another girl whilst you'd broken up but you must remember there may have been a reason for it like there's reasons for everything. Has he told you how he's felt? Maybe he felt lonely and just wanted someone to talk to? Who knows? If you haven't already, ask him why he went with the girl and see what he says. Remember though that while you both were apart officially, you weren't his and nor was he yours. It may seem a little quick for him to start getting into relationships with other people but the reason behind it may have been a very good one.
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Re: boyfriend blues - August 16th 2013, 01:09 AM

I agree that sometimes all you can do is wait it out. What is meant to happen will happen. It may seem scary now but everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I would agree with the contacting him but if you are grounded in the way I would imagine you to be then you may not be able to use those forms of communication. You seem to be stuck "between a rock and a hard place" so all you can do is do your best and go with your gut. Good luck!


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Re: boyfriend blues - August 16th 2013, 01:56 AM

We cannot make this decision for you. However, making a pros and cons list can be helpful when you're trying to figure out whether a relationship is worth it or not.
If you're fighting a lot lately, then it might help to reduce how much you contact each other for a few days just so you both can cool off. Then try and talk about it and come to a compromise about the things you have been fighting about. It's normal to disagree in a relationship, but it isn't healthy to purposely try and hurt each other. You have to try and take a step back and see things from each other's point of view and keep an open mind. That will help to prevent fights from escalating.
You said it seems like your doomed, I think you should really think about your relationship and whether your happy in it or not. If you're hurt or upset in a relationship more than you are happy, then you might be better off finding somebody who will treat you better.


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