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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Question How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 16th 2015, 04:04 AM

Hello.

I recently got out of a 11 month relationship that was long distance, and it ended on a good note, we are still very close friends. I was wondering how long you have to wait to get in another relationship? Just to not seem rude to the other person. She ended it off, just being she didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore. Though I am still close to her, I'd like to meet other people, at least look around. But I don't want to disrespect her. How long it is polite to wait?

I'll answer any additional questions if it helps you for a better answer.
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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 16th 2015, 04:14 AM

There is no prerequisite time. You move on when you feel you are ready to move on. My only suggestion for people before they start looking for other partners is to make sure they are doing it out of a desire for a healthy, balanced relationship, not to stave off loneliness or "fill the void" or get back at your ex. It's important to be able to sit with yourself. I see so many people jump from relationship to relationship because they don't want to be alone and it's just not healthy. So turn inward and ask yourself what your reasons are for getting back out there. If you find the answer is to connect with new people, have enriching life experiences, etc., then by all means, move forward. If it's because you don't want to be alone or you feel that something is missing in your life, maybe take some time to yourself before moving forward.

As for your ex, you aren't responsible for her feelings. It's not up to you to make sure she feels "good" about you moving on. Seeing your partner move on can be difficult, but it's up to us to own our feelings.
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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 16th 2015, 11:28 AM

What Jordan said - there's no specific time frame. Just date whenever you're ready. If you're concerned about your ex's feelings the only advice I'd offer would be not to splash it too fully over social media or shove it in her face, but otherwise she'll have to deal with it the same way you would if she did.


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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 16th 2015, 01:41 PM

There is no time. People move on when they want to - I know some people who move on after 2 weeks, others are still torn up months later. It depends on what you want and what you feel.




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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 17th 2015, 11:24 PM

I'll be honest, I actually did "date" others to fill the void. It was hardly anything serious, but I moved on quicker. It doesn't work for everyone, so, my general advice is to start whenever you feel like it because everyone needs to start somewhere. To every end, there is a beginning.




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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 20th 2015, 03:17 AM

Hey there,

I don't think there is a certain time period which you have to wait. It's when you feel ready to start dating again.


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Re: How long does one wait to start looking at dating other pople? - April 22nd 2015, 05:37 PM

Hey there,

I think you need to move on when you're ready to do so. If you feel like you're ready to start meeting other people then that is absolutely fine. Maybe it would be a good idea to not be too public about it, but if your ex asks I'd be honest. Do what you feel is right for you, everyone needs to take their own time and do things when they feel ready to do so. Some people will wait weeks and some months or longer. If you feel ready to start dating again then that's great and you should do what makes you feel happy!

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige


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