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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
HealingAngel Offline
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I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 3rd 2011, 08:26 AM

There is this guy that I love...
Maybe not love, I AM only 15 so actually love seems impossible,
But I deeply, deeply care about him.

He has a lot of emotional and psychological problems though...
And he is not "socially acceptable" to date...

He is:
Emo, Goth, Stand-off ish, Loner, Freak, Manwhore, Bi (in our school it is seen as a bad thing for some reason), Misfit, JD (juvenile delinquint), etc etc... just about EVERY horrible stereotype there is...

I am:
Preppy-is, Nice, Innocent, Straight A student, Perfectionist, Flirt (I am NOT a whore though, I give the appearance of being confident but I am a complete prude I can promise you that), etc etc...essentially, his opposite.

Yet he is:
Kind, Sweet, Understanding, Loving, Caring, Poetic, Protecting, Adorably Corny, Experienced yet Gentle, Persistent yet Slow, etc etc...the PERFECT boyfriend.

Yet because of this social status thing,
I get CRAP about going out with him.
"You can do better"
"You are going out with HIM?" -look of shock and disgust-
"Ew, that's gross."
"Do you know what he did?"

"Blah. Blah. Blah."

I just guess I'm writing because... well... we went out a couple months ago but broke up because my mom made us. We stayed best friends and are dating again but no one knows yet. He kissed me today on our date (first kiss - I told you I was a prude)... and I am holding his hand tomorrow in front of everyone at school. I want everyone to know I have an amazing guy... <3

How can I avoid all of this crap though? Besides JUST being confident?
We have two weeks of school left but I'd still like them to be tolerable... if not enjoyable...


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 3rd 2011, 10:00 AM

You can't avoid it, unless you leave the school or somethin'. All you can do is ignore it.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 3rd 2011, 10:04 AM

Kayla,

The best thing to do is to ignore what others think. If you love him so much you should just ignore any disrespectful comments and just carry on in your relationship if it makes you happy. The key to the solution is not caring what others think.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 3rd 2011, 10:43 AM

Who cares what others in your school think of him ? If you know he is a great guy, ignore the comments, and be happy together.



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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 3rd 2011, 01:06 PM

If you're happy together, what does it matter what other people think? It's your relationship and it's your life to do with it what you wish, just ignore them and in two weeks you'll have finished school and won't have to deal with it anymore.
   
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 5th 2011, 04:13 AM

I suppose that is all true.. thanks guys.


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 5th 2011, 05:55 PM

It doesnt matter what enyone else thinks! If you care about him dont let other people get in the way of that.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 5th 2011, 10:21 PM

You're right. I pulled away emotionally after we kissed and I think that's why I suddenly questioned everythinggg... but I do love him. And he is worth it, every moment of it all. <3 Thanks all.


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 6th 2011, 05:53 AM

Given the strong feelings people have against your boyfriend, there's nothing you can do. If you go with him, people will question why and say whatever comments but if you begin defending him, people may question whether you are who you truly act like. In other words, are you really preppy or are you actually a goth, have you become a goth, etc...? Some questions may also be why you are with him, in that is there something you're trying to get from him because he's allegedly dumb and you're allegedly brilliant? I suppose you could tell others how he really is like but you would also have to show them. Chances are though, the labels aren't going to change much at all and since it's two weeks, just weather the storm.

Unlike the others who responded, DO NOT ignore the comments. Instead, allow the comments to come and know that the fact you continue to remain with him after each comment that may weaken the relationship, the overall relationship becomes stronger. It's like battle-testing the relationship, be aware the shots are coming at you and instead of skirting around them, go straight and let them hit head-on. You should first have him aware of your strategy.

As for your mother, you can tell her you'll break up but will remain as very good friends. In reality, you can keep dating but disguise it as though you're great friends who want to chat with each other as well as see each other in-person.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 12th 2011, 05:16 AM

I'm sorry people are saying these things. People can be so ignorant and quick to judge. You only have two weeks of school left, so I say it's just best to ignore it. You are happy together, and you love him. The only thing that matters is what you two think of each other.


   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Talking Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 12th 2011, 09:39 PM

Thanks you guys! Things are actually going really well (1000x better than last time we went out). I am much more confident and since I had a ton of guys who liked me before I said yes people can't even use the excuse "oh you settled". I hold his hand and kiss him proudly because he is mine and regardless of what the hell they say I know that I got the perfect guy. <3

As far as the critism that I do get, I basically followed The Man and XX Master's advice. I haven't let their cruel comments just fly by, I actually let them hit and then address them. If they continue then I basically just tell them oh well, and let them know that they better shut up and get used to it because we are staying together and nothing they cn ever say is going to change that. (in a nice way! haha)

Thanks for all of your advice guys. Mom knows the truth and I stood up for us and told her I wasn't going to break up with him. Surprisingly, she didn't freak out. He is coming to dinner Wednesday. (hopefully!)

Thanks again you guys. I really needed that bit of support to help me get the courage to stand up for us and I'm so glad I did. You're right, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if we really do care about each other. <3


When You're At The End Of Your Rope...
Tie A Knot... and Hold On... <3
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
I think I kinda, sorta, maybe... mighttt just love him after all...
- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -
Settle precious, I know what you're going through,
Minutes before you got here, I was going to jump too...
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I am dating him again, I guess that makes me a target... - June 13th 2011, 01:25 AM

Some things can't be avoided, just ignored. Once people figure out you don't care they'll stop caring. These things only last so long before someone else is headline news. Just enjoy your relationship

Also, if you feel love, then you feel love. It doesn't have an age limit



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Make it your business to start some fires




   
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