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Showing results 1 to 166 of 166
Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Em0bxy
Forum: Depression and Suicide June 15th 2025, 07:45 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 43
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: suicidal ideation vent

I've been on a 1-1 before, I've lost ROOM privileges before unless I was going to sleep, and I'd be removed if I started to hurt myself and got caught, even if it was past unit bed time. i'd be up...
Forum: Mental Health June 15th 2025, 05:48 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

I do get auditory hallucinations a lot too. It ranges from uncoherent whispering to a older phone ringing. I have an anxiety disorder and this feeling is different.. it's like feeling like someone is...
Forum: Depression and Suicide June 14th 2025, 09:03 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 43
Posted By Em0bxy
suicidal ideation vent

So yesterday I had therapy at 4pm and I walk talking to my therapy about my SI. I got a little too honest and almost got sent to the hospital. I told her how I had no motivation to live anymore and...
Forum: Anxiety and Stress June 14th 2025, 04:49 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Panic Attacks

So i've been on it for a few months, my highest dose only being 2.5mg I believe, I'm on a 0.25 dose right now as they're trying to get me off of it.
Forum: Mental Health June 14th 2025, 04:48 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

Okay thanks!
Forum: Self Expression June 13th 2025, 12:36 AM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Rae's poems.

TW//: Hallucinations

Losing touch -Rae P.-

When you look at someone you’ve known
Forever
And wonder if they’re real
When you look at something you’ve never seen
And wonder if it’s fake...
Forum: Mental Health June 12th 2025, 10:08 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

Today I had to leave school early because of it but I covered it for just "really bad anxiety" even though I told one teacher the truth about the situation. I was taking some heavy deep breaths and...
Forum: Anxiety and Stress June 12th 2025, 10:01 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Panic Attacks

it's called klonopin/clanazopam i've only been on it since march.
Forum: Mental Health June 12th 2025, 09:56 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

Something else that has been happening lately is without realizing I've been isolating myself and then not recognizing what's real and what's not. I feel like either everything(including my...
Forum: Mental Health June 12th 2025, 09:46 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

Yeah, this is my second antipsychotic. The one I'm on right now most commonly treats schizophrenia so I hope that if the dosage gets upped in the future, the hallucinations get impacted. I was never...
Forum: Education and Careers June 12th 2025, 12:14 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 160
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: field trip

Schools...going and I did have fun!
Forum: Mental Health June 12th 2025, 12:13 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hallucinations + paranoia

I'm on an antipsychotic right now but they might have to up it if this continues. I'm on 40 mg, which is the starting dose. Today during school I self-harmed because of the hallucinations but I...
Forum: Mental Health June 11th 2025, 12:43 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 108
Posted By Em0bxy
Hallucinations + paranoia

So I used to struggle with hallucinations, had since fourth grade. But they stopped sometime mid-April...well, they're back. Story time! Yesterday during school was day 2 of the hallucinations being...
Forum: Anxiety and Stress June 6th 2025, 01:57 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Panic Attacks

So I was able to find a few triggers and my safety teacher(504 plan) I told her and she was really understanding and is making me complete different assignments and places to be whenever those...
Forum: Self Harm June 5th 2025, 12:44 PM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

20 days safe!
Forum: Anxiety and Stress June 5th 2025, 12:17 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Panic Attacks

So i've been having a lot of panic attacks lately, 4 in the past 2 1/2 days. I don't know what to do. I got sent home early from school for having one because I just couldn't calm down, and when I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide June 3rd 2025, 01:36 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering (Suicide): writing the notes?
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: writing the notes?

thank you so much<3
Forum: Rape and Abuse June 2nd 2025, 12:52 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 256
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: ive been molested - it still hurts :c

I also have an addictive personality, so I get that. It is definitely a risk but you know what, if it helps you at the time and the doctors can help you recover if you DO get the addiction, it's...
Forum: Rape and Abuse June 1st 2025, 10:37 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 256
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: ive been molested - it still hurts :c

I take a medication called klonopin(Clanazapam) which is also an addictive medication, I wouldn't worry too much because they can properly get you off the medication before it becomes an addiction,...
Forum: Education and Careers May 31st 2025, 10:49 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 160
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: field trip

With my school, they techincally exempted it all, but because the unit we're ACTUALLY doing is triggering and there's two weeks left to school and Mrs. A doesn't have another lesson plan yet, she's...
Forum: Rape and Abuse May 31st 2025, 10:48 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 256
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: ive been molested - it still hurts :c

I have been in similar situations before, so I do have some advice. Talk about it. You may want to block it all out and never feel it again, but the flashbacks and anxiety is (unfortunately) part of...
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 31st 2025, 10:42 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 134
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: ex boyfriend

I ended up breaking up with him at a field trip yesterday but he was very understanding. For my ex on the other hand, he said to me yesterday: "cute little things you deserve to feel loved" like true...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 30th 2025, 10:47 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 149
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: sexuality??

Yeah. I did learn some other things but not the right thread lol.
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 30th 2025, 10:45 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 134
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: ex boyfriend

Now he won't stop flirting with me again. Saying how "Cute" I am and that I'm the "cutest girl in Connecticut" (word for word an email he sent me last night)...WHAT DO I DO?
Forum: Education and Careers May 30th 2025, 10:30 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 160
Posted By Em0bxy
field trip

So I'm a seventh grader, going into eighth very shortly, and I have my music field trip today. I don't know if this is the right category to put this under, but I'm missing ALL of school today for...
Forum: Self Harm May 30th 2025, 10:22 AM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

14 days! 2 weeks!
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 29th 2025, 02:34 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 134
Posted By Em0bxy
ex boyfriend

So my ex-boyfriend, let's call him L(cuz idk if I can say names here), L used to tell me I was the only reason he had left for living, and that he loved me so dearly, but I broke up with him because...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 29th 2025, 02:30 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 149
Posted By Em0bxy
sexuality??

So I decided already that I'm not transgender.
But I don't know my sexuality. I strictly like women. So I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. but I'm questioning if I'm bisexual because I've dated men in...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 29th 2025, 09:11 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: idk what the heck i am qwq

And that's okay. most trans people are uncomfortable with being trans at first, but then they realize "wait this is truly who I am" so maybe that's how you'll be!
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 29th 2025, 01:53 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: idk what the heck i am qwq

you don't have to have dysphoria to be trans either! You can try using she/her if you want too, because denial is a big part of discovering yourself!
Forum: Self Harm May 29th 2025, 12:23 AM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

12 days safe
Forum: Friends and Family May 28th 2025, 12:06 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering: Dads health scare...
Views: 146
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Dads health scare...

It was more my mother was afraid of not having him if he went to the ER. I talked with my PE teacher and assistant principal about it. The assistant principal was much more supportive than my PE...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 27th 2025, 08:42 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: idk what the heck i am qwq

Maybe bi/pan gender?

Bigender - denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity encompasses two genders.

Pangender - denoting or relating to a nonbinary person whose gender identity...
Forum: Friends and Family May 27th 2025, 08:39 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering: Dads health scare...
Views: 146
Posted By Em0bxy
Dads health scare...

So yesterday there was a lot of fighting between me and my grandmother, and my mom made a snide remark, causing my dad to get involved. Last time there was a lot of stress on him he had some heart...
Forum: Self Expression May 26th 2025, 02:53 PM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Rae's poems.

TW:// SA

Remember ~ Rae Parker


I remember
What I was wearing
The day I told my family
I remember
The feeling of
Forum: Anxiety and Stress May 25th 2025, 09:46 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 159
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: positive anxiety?

Yeah, didn't realize that most schools have that, since I've done it before. But I did make her a bracelet before this all happened so even if she can't keep what I gave her she at least has the...
Forum: Mental Health May 25th 2025, 09:45 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering: PTSD
Views: 155
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: PTSD

I could try talking to her...I think she might have a coating idea of what happened. We were reading a book with graphic sexual assault details in it and then I shut down so I think she connected me...
Forum: Why Me? May 25th 2025, 01:43 PM
Replies: 3
Triggering (Abuse): why the fuck?
Views: 120
Posted By Em0bxy
why the fuck?

Why did 10-year-old me meet him?
Why did he touch her?
Why did he butter her up with some compliments?
Why did he do that to a ten-year-old girl...
Now you've got her crying to her mother...
Forum: Self Expression May 25th 2025, 01:29 PM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Rae's poems.

TW:// SA

First time reporting ~ Rae Parker

This will be the strongest thing
You’ve ever done
This will be the hardest part
Of what he did
To you
This will be the make-or-break
Forum: Mental Health May 25th 2025, 02:42 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering: PTSD
Views: 155
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: PTSD

I literally just cried because of the flashbacks...we love PTSD guys...
Forum: Self Harm May 24th 2025, 09:34 PM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

8 days today!
Forum: Mental Health May 24th 2025, 02:36 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering: PTSD
Views: 155
Posted By Em0bxy
Exclamation PTSD

So yesterday I had social studies in school and the phone rang, I panicked and looked up(reason for panicking: DCF and cops calling us so many times or getting called to the office for an SA report...
Forum: Self Expression May 24th 2025, 02:23 PM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Rae's poems.

Best friends turned to strangers


You want to know what hurts?
When you see the same person
You know their birthday
Their age
Their favorite color
Yet you don’t even say hi
You know them
Forum: Anxiety and Stress May 24th 2025, 02:21 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 159
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: positive anxiety?

Well. I got in trouble with the school for giving it lol. apparently teachers aren't "supposed to accept gifts like that" like dude I've done it before and nobody said anything.
Forum: Anxiety and Stress May 23rd 2025, 02:33 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 159
Posted By Em0bxy
positive anxiety?

So i'm making my teacher a gift bag. Some of the items include: Letter, poem, 2 expo markers, a folder, blank paper, frog fidget, globe squishy, a pencil, 11 reasons she's my favorite teacher, and...
Forum: Friends and Family May 23rd 2025, 12:17 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: my grandmother and I
Views: 157
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: my grandmother and I

I tried to today and all it got was a call home to my mother.
Forum: Friends and Family May 22nd 2025, 01:14 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering: my grandmother and I
Views: 157
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: my grandmother and I

I don't know if there is a DBT program around me.
The dcf case did go through, but luckily DCF is backing us up, instead of going against us, and their recommending a LGBTQIA+ mentor group.
Forum: Friends and Family May 21st 2025, 01:05 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: my grandmother and I
Views: 157
Posted By Em0bxy
my grandmother and I

So yesterday my grandmother wouldn't shut up after DCF got called on me and my family because of her so I threatened to hit her in the head if she didn't shut up. She's very manipulative and toxic...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 20th 2025, 01:42 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 139
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: came out!

I told my grndmother before and she was just absolutely an idiot about it because she kept saying I'm a girl with dysphoria I'm like that's not how that works but okay...
so yeah. at least my mom...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 20th 2025, 01:39 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 139
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: came out!

yeah. i only told her because everyone else is my family is transphobic, but now she's using they pronouns, unfortunately she won't use he with me but at least it's not she, yk?...
Forum: Self Expression May 20th 2025, 01:36 PM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Rae's poems.

Anxiety
I am not alone
But I fear I am lonely
I am not sad
But I seem to cry
I seem to shake
I cannot focus.
Don’t leave me alone
But I’m breaking at the seams
You can’t see
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 19th 2025, 01:46 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 139
Posted By Em0bxy
came out!

I came out to my mom last night! I've had people from a mental hospital tell me that I was faking being trans to play my parents, but I'm not. Anyway, I told my mom my fear about that she'd react...
Forum: Self Expression May 18th 2025, 10:29 PM
Replies: 11
Triggering: Rae's poems.
Views: 181
Posted By Em0bxy
Rae's poems.

#1:
"What you see"
You look at me
And see
A teenage girl
You look at me
And see
A happy girl
But that’s not me
I am a teenage boy
Forum: Friends and Family May 18th 2025, 10:27 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering: My father
Views: 187
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: My father

yeah, probably. Unfortuantly my stubborn ass in the moment thinks fight instead of flight. I always choose to fight. It's just who I am.
Forum: Friends and Family May 18th 2025, 02:18 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering: My father
Views: 187
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: My father

I talked to my father about consent yesterday and he said: "I am your father, I do not need to ask consent, I gave you life"...
Forum: Self Harm May 17th 2025, 06:25 PM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

1 day safe
Forum: Friends and Family May 16th 2025, 11:41 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering: My father
Views: 187
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: My father

I've tried before and it never went well.
Forum: Friends and Family May 16th 2025, 11:21 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering: My father
Views: 187
Posted By Em0bxy
My father

Ok I just kind of noticed how weird my dad is. So my dad(m39) is always telling me(FtM12) I can't wear certain dresses or shorts because they're "too short" and it's just "respectful" when I only own...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 16th 2025, 01:49 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 138
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: telling my teachers...

All of my teachers reacted greatly and are calling me Rae now!
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 15th 2025, 02:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 138
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: telling my teachers...

I emailed my teachers and now I'm having anxiety lol. I said:
Hello 7th Grade Teachers,

As the school year comes to a close, I wanted to reach out and share something important. Throughout the...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 15th 2025, 12:20 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 138
Posted By Em0bxy
telling my teachers...

So lately I've been going by Rae, He/Him. I only have a month left to school but I want my teachers to know. Is it worth it to tell them at this point? It's only a month. Then the beginning of the...
Forum: Self Expression May 14th 2025, 12:21 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering: Stories
Views: 170
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Stories

Chapter 1
I was sitting on my bedroom floor, sobbing. I opened my chromebook to type up a note, when I saw an email. It was from my homeroom teacher, mrs. harris. I clicked on it.
Dear Alexis,
I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 14th 2025, 12:20 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering (Suicide): writing the notes?
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: writing the notes?

I told someone and went back to the hospital. I'm home now but it was not fun.
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 10th 2025, 12:34 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering (Suicide): writing the notes?
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
writing the notes?

I can't even make it one day without self-harm. I selfharmed so much this week my arms are 'covered'. My PE teacher asked me how many days I was on yesterday and I told her zero, nobody found out due...
Forum: Eating Disorders May 9th 2025, 02:47 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: Ed relapse
Views: 163
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Ed relapse

Thank you...
I also told my homeroom teacher and my social worker at school today about my relapse and it honestly shattered my heart hearing my hr teachers reaction. Wish I never told her but at...
Forum: Mental Health May 8th 2025, 01:51 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 179
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Psychiatrist forcing residential

I try my best to partake in treatment and be cooperative in treatment. My psychiatrist doesn't care about anyone opinion but her own. She tried to force me back into another iop/php program for...
Forum: Eating Disorders May 7th 2025, 01:07 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering: Ed relapse
Views: 163
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Ed relapse

shortly after I made this post I was forced to eat by my family. I made it on less than editedcalories yesterday and plan to make today less than editedcalories total. so for two days that's be...
Forum: Mental Health May 7th 2025, 01:05 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 179
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Psychiatrist forcing residential

I got diagnosed with so many disorders while I was in my last program.
Ex:
Second Neurodevelopmental disorder, PTSD, GAD, mood disorder, Impulse-control disorder, etc.
Forum: Eating Disorders May 7th 2025, 02:34 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: Ed relapse
Views: 163
Posted By Em0bxy
Ed relapse

So long story short I haven't eaten in over 24 hours, and I'm planning for longer. The shame of eating is back. The checking how many calories are on things are back. binging and starving is back....
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 7th 2025, 12:23 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Suicide): suicidal ideation...[VENT]
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: suicidal ideation...[VENT]

I told the guidance counselor a little about what she says but not how it affects me and I got no advice whatsoever, I'm just trying to avoid staying out of the hospital.
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 6th 2025, 01:59 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 188
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: A boy I like

I talked to him and he likes me back!! We started to date.
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 6th 2025, 01:31 PM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Suicide): suicidal ideation...[VENT]
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Exclamation suicidal ideation...[VENT]

My grandmother in the course of 3 days has said to me:
"Fuck off"
"bitch"
"Your voice is annoying me."
"You're obnoxious."
And some other rude things. this is normal for her but it's starting to...
Forum: Peer Pressure and Bullying May 5th 2025, 01:19 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering (Weight Figures): school comments
Views: 173
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: school comments

I already told my safety teacher and the principal about it, so it got handled, we got over this bump and stayed friends.
Forum: Mental Health May 5th 2025, 01:18 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 179
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Psychiatrist forcing residential

Yeah. Tomorrow was supposed to be my admission date but I'm not going!! FOr once things are working in my favor.
-Rae
Forum: Rape and Abuse May 5th 2025, 01:17 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering: SA questions
Views: 165
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: SA questions

I'm a little nervous because we're still friends and I don't want to get him in trouble, but if my anxiety gets triggered around him I'll tell either Mrs. A or Mrs. M .
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 5th 2025, 01:16 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: parents opinion on me being transgender

welp I"m still queer in my gender identity but not trans, my parents still don't accept me unless I'm a cis female, I'm a demigirl...that's as good as I can do, cus that's what I am.
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 5th 2025, 01:15 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 188
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: A boy I like

Thank you! I was going to talk to him during either Music or lit about my feelings towards him and hope he asks before I doo...
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 5th 2025, 02:38 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 188
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: A boy I like

I'm just really nervous because my ex is trying to convince me that's the way he is with all his female friends...but this just feels so much different. He's making me insecure of telling him and...
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 4th 2025, 11:28 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 188
Posted By Em0bxy
A boy I like

So theres this boy, lets call him E. E is in my LIt, La, SCience, and Music class. We also do Orchestra together. I want to ask him out, but I'm scared. I don't know if E likes me back and I'm scared...
Forum: Rape and Abuse May 4th 2025, 11:22 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering: SA questions
Views: 165
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: SA questions

I could talk to my safety teacher about it. My parents just pushed it off as a trauma response and not another trauma...so that's unfortunate.
Forum: Mental Health May 4th 2025, 02:06 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 179
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Psychiatrist forcing residential

that's the issue, it won't be. My whole familY(including me) thinks I'll regress in there. We already said no to the bed so they can give it to someone else.

-Rae
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 4th 2025, 02:05 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 172
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: the thoughts have been coming back

tysm. I'll try talking to my safety teacher.
Forum: Rape and Abuse May 4th 2025, 10:15 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: SA questions
Views: 165
Posted By Em0bxy
SA questions

My partner while we used to be dating kissed me several times and never once asked my consent, is this sexual assault? I didn't WANT this at all...I get flashbacks because of it every night again,...
Forum: Mental Health May 3rd 2025, 02:23 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 179
Posted By Em0bxy
Psychiatrist forcing residential

So..my psychiatrist was trying to force my family and I to send me residential. We had our reservations about it, but she didn't care. She lied to the team saying I was going residential, and then my...
Forum: Mental Health May 3rd 2025, 02:09 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 150
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Psychiatrist going on maternity leave

I'm on the same medication as you and I get it, it's hard to have your psychiatrist go on an extended maternity leave. But just try the other psych nurse bc she could be so much different from what...
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 3rd 2025, 02:07 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 172
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: the thoughts have been coming back

tysm for the advice! I'll try to write them a letter!
Forum: Relationships and Dating May 3rd 2025, 02:42 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

I broke up with him.
Forum: Self Expression May 2nd 2025, 01:49 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering: Stories
Views: 170
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Stories

Story 2:
Authors note:
There is a trigger warning for this book with mentions of suicidal ideation, but not very much of it. This story is about two girls falling in love, but one of them is...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity May 2nd 2025, 12:49 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: parents opinion on me being transgender

I'm still even questioning if I'm actually trans. I feel like I'm nonbinary, not trans binary, so there's that too, they believe two genders, trans or not, that's it
Forum: Depression and Suicide May 1st 2025, 02:39 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 172
Posted By Em0bxy
the thoughts have been coming back

When the thoughts come back, I get depressed, when I'm depressed, I get suicidal. Theres no way of winning. I really wanna die, but my dad just denied residential for me because of the abuse stories...
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 30th 2025, 02:07 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

Yeah, thanks, umh...the one problem is though Im already dealing with a situation and the one teacher I trust I don't want to put too much pressure on.
Forum: Peer Pressure and Bullying April 30th 2025, 12:24 AM
Replies: 5
Triggering (Weight Figures): school comments
Views: 173
Posted By Em0bxy
school comments

since I've been back to school kids have been calling me fat and "A sphere" as one kid said. No matter whether I react or not they keep making the comments. So I told a teacher today. I'm scared that...
Forum: Self Harm April 29th 2025, 02:37 PM
Replies: 1
Triggering (SH): back to day 1
Views: 134
Posted By Em0bxy
back to day 1

Yesterday during school I had cut myself and panicked. I told my teacher because there was a lot of blood, and then she grabbed the nurse and guidance counselor and I stayed in the nurses office with...
Forum: Self Harm April 29th 2025, 01:23 AM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

back to day zero.
Forum: Self Harm April 28th 2025, 02:47 PM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

5 days safe.
longest time: 60 days.
Forum: Games and Things April 28th 2025, 02:05 PM
Replies: 10,493
Views: 483,489
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.

I stopped trusting people because you broke everything I ever had. Thank you so much for the despairing feeling of loneliness
Forum: Arrivals and Departures April 28th 2025, 01:41 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 203
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Hi im new

Welcome Krista! I'm always here to be someone to talk too. Welcome to teenhelp! This is a non-judgement zone so it's okay you need some help sometimes<3
Forum: Anxiety and Stress April 28th 2025, 01:37 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 156
Posted By Em0bxy
Anxiety attack vs. Panic attack

Anxiety attack vs. Panic attack
__________________________________________________
Anxiety Attack

Triggered
Builds up slowly
Less Intense than panic attacks
May...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity April 28th 2025, 12:38 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
parents opinion on me being transgender

So my parents know I'm transgender, but the thing is is that they don't accept it. They think because my boyfriends trans, I'm just trying to fit his "needs" to be gay. I completely disagree with my...
Forum: Self Expression April 27th 2025, 06:11 PM
Replies: 5
Triggering: Stories
Views: 170
Posted By Em0bxy
Stories

Story #1(unfinished):
I walked into the school building, looking forward to having a good day today. I got to see my boyfriend, have some classes with him and my friends, and go to my favorite...
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 27th 2025, 09:47 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

Yeah. He also always forces me to do things I don't feel comfortable with(ex: sit with him during win, watch videos I don't want too, wear clothing I don't want too, etc.) and it's honestly getting...
Forum: Self Harm April 27th 2025, 09:40 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (SH): self-harm..?
Views: 166
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: self-harm..?

My parents just said thats not fair and mean and supports me quitting choir so I can spend as least time with him as possible.
Forum: Anxiety and Stress April 27th 2025, 12:40 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 168
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: School anxiety

Im high key starting to having anxiety about having another panic attack and I'm scared because I have a field trip tuesday and I don't know what to do if I do have a panic attack during the field...
Forum: Arrivals and Departures April 26th 2025, 10:55 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 191
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Introduction ໒꒱

Welcome to teenhelp Ruru!
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 26th 2025, 10:55 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

Yeah....that's a fair point. He's grabbed me and pushed me before so I'd expect him to act physically against me than to himself first. Plus, he's friends with my abuser so he'd know how to get me...
Forum: Self Harm April 26th 2025, 08:47 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering (SH): self-harm..?
Views: 166
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: self-harm..?

he also physically forced me to be in choir when I don't want to be. like he physically grabbed me. Im telling my parents finally but yeah...he's not healthy for me.
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 26th 2025, 02:26 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

I just am hesitant because of my anxiety. It could get in the way of me preventing something traumatizing to happen again. I feel like I was manipulated into staying with him, because we fight over...
Forum: Self Harm April 26th 2025, 02:24 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering (SH): self-harm..?
Views: 166
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: self-harm..?

Yeah...I should be more honest with my safety levels. Also, something my boyfriend did when we first started dating he said "If you ever decide you're a woman again, I'm breaking up with you." lucky...
Forum: Anxiety and Stress April 26th 2025, 01:44 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 168
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: School anxiety

That is a very smart idea. Yeah, this same teacher is my safety teacher on my 504 plan so she'd totally understand it. Especially since I have my 504 for ptsd and anxiety. I have been having panic...
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 26th 2025, 01:41 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: puppy love turned toxic

I could try to talk to my homeroom teacher/safety teacher about it. She might have some advice, but I don't really know, because she's never seen this side of him before. I hadn't really either, and...
Forum: Anxiety and Stress April 24th 2025, 11:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 168
Posted By Em0bxy
School anxiety

So today at school I had two panic attacks, which was "fun". The first one I told my teacher about and she sent me to the nurse, the second one I didn't and she kept asking if I wanted to talk or if...
Forum: Relationships and Dating April 24th 2025, 02:31 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 225
Posted By Em0bxy
puppy love turned toxic

So I'm in my first serious relationship, we've been dating for three months, and a hand full of days. Yesterday while on the phone I saw my ex peak out in my boyfriend. He asked for one of my...
Forum: Self Harm April 24th 2025, 01:22 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering (SH): self-harm..?
Views: 166
Posted By Em0bxy
Exclamation self-harm..?

Yesterday while I was at school I cut my thighs and my arms with one of my old editedI found in my backpack. My thighs are so fucking sore. I slightly regret it but at the same time I lied to my...
Forum: Drugs, Alcohol and Addiction April 22nd 2025, 02:57 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Substances): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 210
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

my parents are extremely strict and I doubt it would be a mild punishment, speaking for the fact for the past four months I've been in and out of the hospital
Forum: Rape and Abuse April 22nd 2025, 01:05 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering: My story
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: My story

I was able to switch classes to be able to do the class I missed because of my program. It's gonna be great to redo a class instead of having to face that fucking bastard again(sorry for my...
Forum: Rape and Abuse March 31st 2025, 02:07 PM
Replies: 2
Triggering: My story
Views: 204
Posted By Em0bxy
My story

Trigger Warning<3

When I was 10 years old I was sexually abused by one of my teachers. He groped me, and slid his fingers closer to my ykw (idk if that's considered attempted rape). I told my...
Forum: Mental Health March 31st 2025, 12:34 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Weight Figures): developing BPD
Views: 211
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: developing BPD

I have a drs appointment friday, so I might speak about it then.
Forum: Friends and Family March 31st 2025, 01:17 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 151
Posted By Em0bxy
issue with my grandma

she is a narcsisst so im not surprised were fighting over her constant need of attention. She knows I have conduct disorder, so I can be a bitch sometimes. "Why are you always so mean!?" YOu know why...
Forum: Mental Health March 30th 2025, 07:11 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Weight Figures): developing BPD
Views: 211
Posted By Em0bxy
developing BPD

I was told that I could be developing borderline personality disorder, and that's scaring me. My dad already says I have DID when I don't and makes fun of me for having "multiple personalities". Now...
Forum: Friends and Family March 30th 2025, 09:56 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 216
Posted By Em0bxy
Angry mom vent

SO yestrday I was drawing with my mother and it ended horribly. I drew an eye and my mom was like "let me show you how to ACTUALLY draw an eye" (Me taking an art class). and when she showed me it was...
Forum: Drugs, Alcohol and Addiction March 30th 2025, 01:09 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Substances): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 210
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

its okay! Dw abt it...just rly confused abt it all bc I promised my younger me id never even try that shit
Forum: Drugs, Alcohol and Addiction March 29th 2025, 09:45 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Substances): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 210
Posted By Em0bxy
{VENT - TW://}

I tried cigerates. I'm lowkey kinda hooked onto them too. im only 12 so ik i fucked up rly badly....what do i do? i havent told anybody
Forum: Relationships and Dating March 29th 2025, 05:59 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 195
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Should I tell him

I think itd be best for you to tell him if you're really committed it him.
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity March 29th 2025, 02:04 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 191
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: thought about identity

yeah. my school even has a pride club.
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity March 28th 2025, 03:14 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 191
Posted By Em0bxy
thought about identity

I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian, since I've never really liked a boy before, but I've liked girls. I feel comfortable with that label. But my parents are convinced I'm going to end up a cishet girl. My...
Forum: Relationships and Dating March 28th 2025, 02:11 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 211
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: relationship advice???

It just sucks because I can't reach out to him in any sort of way right now, so either way I'm stuck in an uncomfortable situation.
Forum: Mental Health March 28th 2025, 02:10 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 167
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: running away

Yeah, thanks. Ill definitely reach out if I need anything
Forum: Mental Health March 27th 2025, 10:42 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 167
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: running away

so I had ran away...I ended up back at the ER but I;m doing a little better now.
Forum: Mental Health March 26th 2025, 07:29 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 167
Posted By Em0bxy
running away

I might run away from home today to attempt suicide. Give me advice on what to do I'm scared but I don't want to talk to anyone IRL
Forum: Relationships and Dating March 25th 2025, 11:12 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 211
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: relationship advice???

I just don't want to hurt him because he's already so attached, and I'm pretty sure I might be a lesbian, but the only person I've actually reomantically liked was a female...
Forum: Relationships and Dating March 25th 2025, 09:28 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 211
Posted By Em0bxy
relationship advice???

Okay, I'm dating this guy who is a fabulous man...but I want to break up with him. We've been dating for 2 months and a handful of days, but throughout then I found out he isn't attracted to women,...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity March 25th 2025, 01:17 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: truth found out today..?

I honestly can't trust that anymore though. My grandmother sexually assaults me a lot, my therapists go behind my back, breaking hippa, my school doesn't care their students almost killed...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity March 23rd 2025, 10:46 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 180
Posted By Em0bxy
truth found out today..?

My old therapist said to my parents behind my back that she thought be being trans FtM was a phase. Turns out is was, but I have serious reasons why... and they just got dismayed and now my old...
Forum: Peer Pressure and Bullying March 23rd 2025, 11:43 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Bullying): I hate my school
Views: 424
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: I hate my school

I'm so sorry that happens to you! I've had those situations happen to me as well, and I know the trauma scars it can leave. I'm so sorry you have to go through all that. I hope you find the courage...
Forum: Eating Disorders March 23rd 2025, 11:11 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Ed vent and advice?
Views: 200
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Ed vent and advice?

but i feel like everyone cares... everybody at school has these skinny, unrealistic bodies, and I'm sitting over here, not even trying, but breaking. I'm working out more and trying to eat less, not...
Forum: Eating Disorders March 23rd 2025, 02:09 AM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Ed vent and advice?
Views: 200
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Ed vent and advice?

I just can't even do daily activities how shitty I feel because I'm overweight now(not that the overweight is stopping me, but my mind is stopping me)
Forum: Eating Disorders March 22nd 2025, 04:55 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Ed vent and advice?
Views: 200
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Ed vent and advice?

I've seen a dietitian before and they said they couldn't do much with the situation at hand. I just don't really feel hungry anymore...it's kind of like there was an off switch and someone hit it. I...
Forum: Self Harm March 21st 2025, 03:28 PM
Replies: 1
Triggering (SH): addicted to self-harm
Views: 194
Posted By Em0bxy
addicted to self-harm

I have been home from the Institute of Living for 3 days, and 211 has been called on me twice, I've been to the ER for self-harm and SI once. I'm addicted to self-harm. I literally CAN'T quit. I've...
Forum: Eating Disorders March 20th 2025, 11:29 PM
Replies: 6
Triggering (ED): Ed vent and advice?
Views: 200
Posted By Em0bxy
Ed vent and advice?

so I gained over editedpounds after starving myself for months...I feel guilty and shameful and bad for this...I'm thinking about starving myself again. To the point I'd go to the hospital bad if...
Forum: Rape and Abuse March 19th 2025, 09:32 PM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Abuse): Father changing?
Views: 258
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Father changing?

Not really since whenever I vent either my mom or dad are there and I just got out of the hospital even though they knew there was a DCF case going on but they still let me out even though I felt...
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity March 19th 2025, 02:41 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 192
Posted By Em0bxy
My identity story

When I was ten I met my first queer person(my current boyfriend). At the time, he was nonbinary(now transgender FtM). I started researching about the LGBTQIA2S+ community, and I found the label...
Forum: Why Me? March 19th 2025, 09:45 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering: why
Views: 235
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: why

I was inpatient for a month(Feburary 18th to March 18th) and it was a really long process but it has really helped me in so many ways.
Forum: Rape and Abuse March 19th 2025, 03:18 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Abuse): Father changing?
Views: 258
Posted By Em0bxy
Father changing?

I went through a severe time with my father when he used to hit me and call me a lot of mean things and when I was at a hospital I spoke up about it because I didn't want my brother going through the...
Forum: Why Me? February 18th 2025, 02:21 PM
Replies: 4
Triggering: why
Views: 235
Posted By Em0bxy
why

WHY WHY WHYYYYY...
I might go inpatient a again. Miss Sarah from IOL in my state is like- my favorite staff on that floor...and I told her that when she was my 1 to 1. I guess I might get to see her...
Forum: Self Harm February 17th 2025, 09:51 PM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

I talked to my therapist today and all she did was roll her eyes and say "You can't go back to inpatient, you've been 3 times in two months,"
Forum: General Health February 17th 2025, 02:41 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Lump on my back

Glad to hear it's non-cancerous! That could be worrying, couldn't imagine.
Forum: Self Harm February 17th 2025, 02:18 AM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

I could try..
Forum: Self Harm February 17th 2025, 01:52 AM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

Legally since it's an outpatient center they'd have to send me to the ER even if I say it doesn't help.
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 17th 2025, 01:51 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Suicide): enough
Views: 201
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: enough

Yeah, I could talk to him about that
Forum: Self Harm February 17th 2025, 01:13 AM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

I don't even want to stop at this point, I forgot life without self-harm...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 17th 2025, 12:50 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Suicide): enough
Views: 201
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: enough

I've told someone about it before and he went through the same program I'm in now because of it. He never cut off the suicide pact but it's only if I commit suicide for some reason, it's not if he...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 17th 2025, 12:22 AM
Replies: 4
Triggering (Suicide): enough
Views: 201
Posted By Em0bxy
enough

I've had enough of everything. I've had enough of life, of people talking to me, of hiding my cuts, of not being able to die. I might tell my counselor about these thoughts though I might end up in...
Forum: Self Harm February 16th 2025, 11:49 PM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

not really. tomorrow I have my therapy appointment so MAYBE I could talk to my therapist about it, though I know I'll just be sent to the fucking ER...it's whatever to be fucking honest, I don't even...
Forum: Relationships and Dating February 16th 2025, 12:52 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 207
Posted By Em0bxy
Dating

Okay, I've been dating this boy for almost a month, and he is my dream. I love him to pieces, but...I want us to last a long time but we're both only 12, so I know this won't be forever, but I want...
Forum: Self Harm February 16th 2025, 12:05 AM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: {VENT - TW://}

I hurt myself today, it burns but people are thinking it's old cause my arms are covered anyway.
Forum: Rape and Abuse February 16th 2025, 12:04 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Abuse): school.....
Views: 275
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: school.....

Hey Sam,
I've tried reaching out to local law enforcement and unfortunately they denied the case. State laws say DCF HAS to be sent. But it wasn't in my school.
Forum: Relationships and Dating February 15th 2025, 04:45 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 221
Posted By Em0bxy
What's the cutest thing ur partner has called you

For me, it's pretty boy
I'm just curious to see if things get weirder or what
Forum: Self Harm February 15th 2025, 12:04 PM
Replies: 12
Triggering (SH): {VENT - TW://}
Views: 266
Posted By Em0bxy
{VENT - TW://}

Self-harm is the only thing I have. It makes me feel alive in the worst ways. The blood pouring from my arms reminds me I'm human. Fuck it, I ain't gonna even try to recover, cause shit, it's all I...
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 15th 2025, 10:52 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering: Inpatient 18 days?
Views: 220
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Inpatient 18 days?

ty, i might chat with you in pm, but idk yet.
Forum: Self Harm February 14th 2025, 06:00 PM
Replies: 21,272
Views: 871,741
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Self harm free!

1 day clean from sh
Forum: Good Days! February 14th 2025, 12:43 AM
Replies: 12,024
Views: 497,204
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: I'm happy today because...

I got to see my boyfriend for the first time in 20 days
Forum: LGBTQ+, Sexuality and Gender Identity February 14th 2025, 12:23 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 271
Posted By Em0bxy
confusion

help!?
Okay, i don't know what the hell I am in terms of my gender. I know I like boys, that's all I know about myself. I used to play with trucks and cars when I was younger and attempt to dress...
Forum: Rape and Abuse February 13th 2025, 12:29 PM
Replies: 2
Triggering (Abuse): school.....
Views: 275
Posted By Em0bxy
Exclamation school.....

I was sexually abused when I was 10, I'm 12 now, almost 13, this happened to two different people within less than a year. I'm so scared to go back to school after being gone for so long. I've been...
Forum: Arrivals and Departures February 13th 2025, 11:29 AM
Replies: 5
Hi!
Views: 308
Posted By Em0bxy
Hi!

Hey!
I'm Ash
12
Trans(He/Him)
SH'er
Taken
Gay MLM
Idk what else to add besides rat.
And yeah.
That's me.
Forum: General February 13th 2025, 11:16 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 257
Posted By Em0bxy
Re: Happy Valentine's Day

Bf and I are exchanging gifts
Forum: Depression and Suicide February 13th 2025, 09:33 AM
Replies: 2
Triggering: Inpatient 18 days?
Views: 220
Posted By Em0bxy
Inpatient 18 days?

Hello,
So...I just got home from inpatient after 18 fucking days, which is my longest stay compared to 10 days. I'm still on wound care, sharps restriction, and wrist/thigh checks. I take 6 pills in...
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