maddy Offline

Wow.It's been a while since I've come on here,and even longer since I wrote to my blog.And no,it's not because I haven't needed the help,it's cos I didn't want it.The day after I posted my last blog,my Mum found out I was self harming.She walked in when I was about to do it,I hid my 'tool' of course,but she could see I'd been crying and we talked for what seemed like forever,when she asked me 'You haven't been self harming,have you?' and I just cried and said sorry I don't know how many times.So...

I dont know what it is, but the past couple of days life seems to have been easier. Its not necessarily that its been easy, just easier to handle. I actuallt told myself NO the other day, and it worked. I just hope I can carry on like this

I went camping last night with friends.When I got home I started arguing with my sister, then my mum and dad took her side as usual. I dont know why but I came to my room and cried and cried. My mum's trying to be the loving mother, but I know she doesnt really care that much. Last time she saw me really upset I didnt want to talk about it so she got really mad at me and started shouting saying how ungrateful I am, so she slammed the door behind her and was in a huge mood with me.
Just thought...

I'm sorry to the people I told that I'd stop cutting myself,because I havn't. I actually went 4 days without it..but I couldn't help myself tonight.
Sorry.

And when it rains on this side of town it touches everything
Just say it again and mean it, we dont miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself its not the reason you dont see the sun anymore

And oh,oh how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh,Oh I need the ending
So why cant you stay long enough to explain?

And when it rains will you always find an escape?
Just running...