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I'm trying to quit SH.I've gone 4 days without it,but I find myself sat here right now, holding that thing in my hand and I'm notsure I can stay strong.

A little rant to keep me going

Posted August 25th 2009 at 12:19 AM by maddy (SH)

Wow.It's been a while since I've come on here,and even longer since I wrote to my blog.And no,it's not because I haven't needed the help,it's cos I didn't want it.The day after I posted my last blog,my Mum found out I was self harming.She walked in when I was about to do it,I hid my 'tool' of course,but she could see I'd been crying and we talked for what seemed like forever,when she asked me 'You haven't been self harming,have you?' and I just cried and said sorry I don't know how many times.So...

maddy

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:)

Posted August 5th 2009 at 11:25 PM by maddy (SH)

I dont know what it is, but the past couple of days life seems to have been easier. Its not necessarily that its been easy, just easier to handle. I actuallt told myself NO the other day, and it worked. I just hope I can carry on like this

maddy

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=/

Posted July 31st 2009 at 10:37 PM by maddy (SH)

I went camping last night with friends.When I got home I started arguing with my sister, then my mum and dad took her side as usual. I dont know why but I came to my room and cried and cried. My mum's trying to be the loving mother, but I know she doesnt really care that much. Last time she saw me really upset I didnt want to talk about it so she got really mad at me and started shouting saying how ungrateful I am, so she slammed the door behind her and was in a huge mood with me.
Just thought...

maddy

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Sorry

Posted July 27th 2009 at 12:01 AM by maddy (SH)

I'm sorry to the people I told that I'd stop cutting myself,because I havn't. I actually went 4 days without it..but I couldn't help myself tonight.
Sorry.

maddy

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Rains

Posted July 25th 2009 at 11:48 PM by maddy (SH)

And when it rains on this side of town it touches everything
Just say it again and mean it, we dont miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself its not the reason you dont see the sun anymore

And oh,oh how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming
Oh,Oh I need the ending
So why cant you stay long enough to explain?

And when it rains will you always find an escape?
Just running...

maddy

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=|

Posted July 21st 2009 at 10:46 PM by maddy (SH)

ok,so im new to this site. i have no idea what to write in this blog, and i doubt anyone will find any of what i have to say interesting. so i decided i'll just write about whatever random crap comes into my head, and see what happens.
Through everything ive been through in the past 2 years, ive wanted to believe in life so much, that everyone finds their true happiness, and to believe in kindheartedness, and that no one will screw me around. but thats not the case really. ive been screwed...

maddy

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Views 769 Comments 1 maddy is offline

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