So i cut. And cut. and cut. Coz im stupid. So im going to keep cutting. Whats the point in trying? Just makes me feel worse when i fail. and i will fail. Coz secretly i dont really want to succeed. Maybe if i self destruct enough my family will give up on me. I think they already have. But they need me now so they will pretend they care until i do what they want. What will happen to me then?

Im angry

Im sad

Im lost

IM HURTING SO DAMN MUCH...

Bad night. feeling so weak. tired. Lonely. Just want to fade away. Dont want to be here. Sick of feeling like this. Im falling.

soo, i think i am better now. not sure. i didn't cry for like 3-4 days. then i did one day. after that i haven't really cried that much...well i did yesterday for a little bit...then today cause my aunt was in the ER & she is getting surgery in the 7th as it is so i was worried. but she is fine now. (: mom still hasn't made me an appointmet to find out if i have anxiety &/or depression, cause it runs in the family and my mom herself has depression...but if she doesn't do it soon, imma ask...