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Old

Feeling lonely

Posted October 7th 2010 at 09:29 AM by Sin

I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you



Sometimes I just fucking hate you

I wish you were here

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Sin
*pixie in training*
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Old

Its been awhile

Posted October 4th 2010 at 01:45 PM by Sin

Havent been here in weeks. I guess today is the first time i stopped running around the place and actually sat down. So i kept myself super busy. Losing myself in everything else. Forcing myself to stop dwelling on how bad i was feeling. But now its time to stop running, energy buzz has finally worn off and im tired.

So god damn tired.

Just back from my therapist. I think thats what made me stop and sit down. According to her im running myself into the ground.
...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
Posted in Uncategorized
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Old

A dream never dies, the dreamer does.

Posted August 27th 2010 at 10:41 AM by Sin

I feel like writing. Have no idea what to write though. Things are flying through my head so fast i cant catch them and put them into words. Tired. Im so tired. Pups cant me up half the night, or maybe i kept them up? Maybe i just wanted company. I dont no. I dont no whats going on. Ive a headache. Maybe coz i cant really remember the last time i ate. I have therapy in like 2 hours. Cant go. I really cant. Im wired. Too much lucozade sport too little food. Too much crazy little things going on....
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Sin
*pixie in training*
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Old

Goodbye lil pix

Posted August 26th 2010 at 09:26 AM by Sin

Darling,

I stayed up all night going through your stuff. I looked at our pics, some made me laugh, some made me cry. Mostly i cried. I cried for you, for us, for all the things we didnt have the time to do. But then i remmbered all the things we did do. And so many memeries came back pix, we had some crazy wonderful times. And i will treasure those times. I wont forget i promise you that. But its time i moved on dont you think? Its been 254 days...I cried for you every one of those...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
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Old

It still hurts

Posted August 25th 2010 at 06:49 PM by Sin

253 days

I wonder who remembers


I remember

Today has been hard, today was definetly a puddles of cuddles day




I love you...

And I miss you...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 107 Comments 1 Sin is offline
Old

Back to life

Posted August 25th 2010 at 09:57 AM by Sin

So yesterday was my first day back as a mentor. I took a group of girls out for ice cream and then to the cinema. I gave out advice and hugs...i cheered people up...i sorted out arguements...i made them laugh...i handed out my number again. Straight back into the swing of things like i was never away. Life goes on.

I came home and crawled into bed and cried.

But i took the first step.

Maybe tomorrow i wont cry.

Today i will.
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Sin
*pixie in training*
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 89 Comments 0 Sin is offline
Old

Fuck you past, you havnt won

Posted August 15th 2010 at 08:26 PM by Sin

So ive had a crap few months. Maybe thats a bit of an understatement. Lets just say that life so far has been hard. So hard that on many occasions i tried to get out away from it all. But who's to say that my life from here on out has to be that hard?

Each time i fell down i somehow got back up again. So maybe i can fight back? What is the point in looking back on all the pain and suffering. My happiness lies in the future. My life can be what i want it to be.

So i tried
...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 168 Comments 2 Sin is offline
Old

Six weeks later

Posted August 13th 2010 at 04:48 PM by Sin

6 weeks of my life gone...did i get anything out of it? Other than the ability to lie really well i dont think so. The first 3 weeks were so hard, i tried my best to open up, to get help. For the first time ever i said how i was feeling. I let myself be 'takin care of'. I didnt hide it when i self harmed. I was completly honest. What good did it do...well let me see...they drugged me up so much I barely had any idea what was going on. They stopped my visitors so i could have a good 'rest'. They
...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 114 Comments 1 Sin is offline
Old

fknzbhghmnlsjflnhgmklb

Posted July 10th 2010 at 02:57 PM by Sin

Struggling to find a reason

Any reason

Even one reason

To hold on

Note to self: Its not worth it
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Sin
*pixie in training*
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Old

Letter to a dear friend

Posted July 2nd 2010 at 08:28 AM by Sin

Dear pix,

I failed you, us, everything we worked towards. I just couldnt do it in the end. I felt so alone when i went up even though i had people around me. Clo was amazing, you would have been proud. But it should have been you holding my hand..didnt you always promise that you would? It was scary, nothing like before. Im WEAK. I needed you.


I fudged up big time in dublin and let myself get taken to hospital. Now physc is on my back every minute. She wants
...
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Sin
*pixie in training*
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