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Sad and Lonely
Everything's going wrong
Don't feel like doing anything
Don't know what to do
The only thing I know is SH...
Feel so fat
Look so fat
Hate being fat
Wish I was pretty
Suppose I am being selfish
I am selfish
I'm just horrible...
And I don't know how to change Don't want to change
Ugh... I hate all this shit

Miss my old life
Wish I could go and play football with the guys
Wish I could actually do things
Hate being here with nothing to distract me
Just want a day doing fun stuff and feeling good
Don't really want to keep going
Don't even want school holidays
But like mother told me last night...
You should be greatful for all you have got and snap out of this moody attitude. It's not attractive, not cool and it makes you seem so ungrateful. But keep on...

My dad saw my arm.
We talked about it. He said that we'll get through it, he's not mad or anything.
But right now i still feel the strong urge to cut. I don't really want to talk to someone about these issues right now. I don't even know how to explain what im thinking if i wanted to. There's so much going on in my head its overwhelming.
I dont know how to explain the fact that I want to die. He say's we'll get through this, but i dont feel like it is ever going to go away....