Yesterday was amazing. It was the first day I’ve actually properly enjoyed for as long as I can remember. It was cold, wet and I had to queue for almost 4 hours, It was a 3hour drive but every minute was worth it. Me and my friend M had fun, especially finding out there was a place called Cockfosters Oh how mature are we. M's mom said she'll take us there seen as it amused us so much. We also annoyed one woman on the underground (which was actually over ground?) the lights kept randomly going on...

These past few days have been pretty good. My fake smile is getting me through.
But somthing happened with Bryan. You know, the 4 year exboyfriend? Ya. Him.
We started talking again. It was a real smile with him. He kept me laughing. I couldn't help laughing, it was too contagious. Everything with him is just ...just so...natural. And when I hugged him goodbye...I almost forgot he wasn't mine, and I wasn't his. Just for a moment. Just for a glimpse. I saw all the happy times we used...

I know im not completely alone anymore. but i still feel empty inside. without you, i feel that im nothing. where have you gone?Its been almost a year and I'm nearly dead inside. i know you'll never read this cause its shit, but i don't care. i miss you.