Somewhere too far for us to find
forgotten the taste and smell
of the world that she's left behind.

I don't know where I am. I feel like I'm stuck at a dead end with nowhere to go. I need to get out of here for a while. But everyone seems so set against me studying in England. My tutor thinks I'm not well enough. My dad thinks it's stupid.

...

Met with Shona and Ann this morning. Was a waste of time. Shona kept saying that I'm not well and need to get better before I can do another course at college. I told her I want to move to England to study psychology and got a lecture on how pointless that would be.
I've already decided I want to go. I need to get away. I need to live my own life the way I want to. I'm sick of taking the safe option. I want to take some risks and benefit from them. I really think I could do better when I'm

...

365 days and 19 hours ago I honestly thought I'd never wake up if I fell asleep.
I can't believe it was a year ago. It doesn't feel that long since I wanted to die. At the same time, feels like this has been going on forever.
If I had died, I wonder what would have happened.
If it had worked, I wonder who'd have noticed.

Every high has an equal low. I didn't believe it until today. Someone told me that I was bad at one of the ONLY things that kept me happy. Another failure in my life. After an amazing day yesterday I got in an argument with a teacher. Why? For standing up for myself when he told me I was bad at the violin. Fuck you. I was so pissed all day. There was my low. I didn't even eat today. Not like I eat any other day, but I was going to today. Everyone thinks me not eating is a joke. It's really not,...