I'm really struggling right now . I feel reallly low and i don't even know why. I felt really happy all of last week for no reason and i want to go back to that feeling
I am so angry with myself right now, i cut for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I'm so weak. I can't do anything right
I don't want to eat anymore. I hate the feeling and i always feel disgusting, fat and unlovable afterwards. I can't sleep anymore i just lie there and think of how i can end it all and...

This made me laugh so much today. I was standing with my friend and her boyfriend and we were talking about parents.
Hazel: Louise's mum doesn't really like her having a girlfriend.
Gary. Why not?
Me: My parents are religious...
Gary: Is your mum on the pill?
Me: Um...I think so.
Gary: Right, when you get in from college, you go up to her and you say "Mum, I might like to munch carpets but at least I'm not on birth control!"

...

Sitting in college. Trying to stay awake. Today's been so long already. Cut this morning. Argued with mum. Walked to Asda and got a new pencil sharpener, pliers and a first aid kit. Had all my blades in my pocket already.
Walked to the graveyard and cried. Just lay on the ground there for a while.
Walked to a park round the corner from my old school. Sat there and took the blades out of the sharpener. Sat on the swing for a while. Just swinging and staring at the ground.

...