I sit and stare at the blank wall, wondering what has become of me. Wondering how things have changed so much. I know change is a part of life, but it just seems that mine has changed so drasticly. Maybe its because of all I went through with Ashley. I logged onto my myspace tonight for the first time in months and I realized that I was no longer anywhere near how I used to be.

The changes are as glaring as they are astonishing. In a way I wish things hadn't changed as much as they...

Have to leave in 15 minutes. Still in bed. Can't deal with placement. But I can't stay home again. Want to cut more. Got blood everywhere last night. Felt so good. More. Deeper.
Don't want to do this. Keep thinking about overdosing again. Just to get out of it.
Need to get over myself. Just do it, dammit. Get up and go. Stop thinking about it.
So pathetic.

So I could of swore that I put on here about my boyfriend breaking up with me, wanting to be friends, getting a girlfriend 5 days later, treating me like shit and now not talking to me, but I guess not. That kind of summed it up, but yeah he has been acting like a total ass to me. Almost 2 years of dating, and he does this. He gets a girl that lives in Texas. He told me he couldn't handle a long distance relationship. When I had a talk with him about how I wanted to marry him and have kids with...