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I'm really struggling right now . I feel reallly low and i don't even know why. I felt really happy all of last week for no reason and i want to go back to that feeling
I am so angry with myself right now, i cut for the first time in almost 2 weeks. I'm so weak. I can't do anything right
I don't want to eat anymore. I hate the feeling and i always feel disgusting, fat and unlovable afterwards. I can't sleep anymore i just lie there and think of how i can end it all and...

This made me laugh so much today. I was standing with my friend and her boyfriend and we were talking about parents.
Hazel: Louise's mum doesn't really like her having a girlfriend.
Gary. Why not?
Me: My parents are religious...
Gary: Is your mum on the pill?
Me: Um...I think so.
Gary: Right, when you get in from college, you go up to her and you say "Mum, I might like to munch carpets but at least I'm not on birth control!"

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Sitting in college. Trying to stay awake. Today's been so long already. Cut this morning. Argued with mum. Walked to Asda and got a new pencil sharpener, pliers and a first aid kit. Had all my blades in my pocket already.
Walked to the graveyard and cried. Just lay on the ground there for a while.
Walked to a park round the corner from my old school. Sat there and took the blades out of the sharpener. Sat on the swing for a while. Just swinging and staring at the ground.

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