I haven't really been around much. I haven't really done anything, well anything worth while. I haven't been coping at all recently. Things hit me pretty hard Friday. I finished school for good, well apart from exams if I'm even still alive to sit them. I guess it hit me that she's really gone. Like I know it was last year but I remember it like it was a minute ago and I'm so tired of replaying the whole situation in my head. Desperately wanting someone to hold me and let me cry and just be there....

Okay, so I have a lot to catch up on.

Like I've found out that both of my brothers are following in my fathers footsteps.
They're becoming just like him, their both spitting images of him, they're both well on their way to becoming child molesting, addicts.

And I'm sick of being pulled down by them, it seems like every time I start to soar, or just starting to feel better they get into trouble and I get dragged into it. Like I'm guilty by association.
...

YESYESYESYESYESS!!! HOT CHELLE RAE FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH(': HEHEHEHE
(so happy[

Well, sort of. You'd think I'd be tired, I'm not. I put down my book around 10:30 or 11ish last night, in keeping with my head on pillow before midnight thing that I have going at the moment.
Midnight came and went, I realised I was too hot so I stripped off. 1am came and went. Then 2am. Then I think I slept for a little bit, before waking up at 3:30am. And basically dozing until I got up. So I didn't get much sleep, at all, but I'm not tired. Which I have to admit is a pleasant change from...