Okay, so I'm green again. Feels good to finally be back, I hate that I had to be gone for so long. I feel like I've really ignored my friends and I apologize, but for quite some time there I just couldn't get on TH hardly at all, and when I did I had no time. It really sucked.

But my life is changing. A lot. I mean a LOT. Jon is progressively working harder and harder to find a job. I can't even remember all the places he's put in applications. He's working so incredibly hard because...

So, last Monday Sam came home.
Last Tuesday was Sam's birthday. We celebrated with drinks and pizza, it was good, and we were like, cool.
Wednesday was normal.

Thursday I overdosed on zopiclone, drank half a bottle of rum, and went for a long walk which I spent most of cutting myself with a razorblade - unusual for me, I don't usually enjoy razorblades.

I was stopped by a member of the public who was concerned about the amount of blood. She contacted emergency...

I feel like no one cares. Like I can only get advice or support if people don't know me. If i'm anonymous. I'm just a mess that no one listens to.

I kind of wished I never existed. I don't know how to function. I don't know anything. I've been told that I'm kind, that I'm mature, that I'm smart, that I know what's good for me. I don't. I don't know anything. I just do what feels fitting and live with it. I've been told I'm brave. I'm not.

Why do people exist if they're nothing? I'm nothing in every sense of the word. People make it seem like I'm something important but I'm not. It feels like I pretend almost all of the time,...