I gave my guidance counsellor at school my blades and stuff and she said we will talk to me about it after school. I wish I kept them I want to use them so much right now but I guess I did it for the best. I dont understand why I am feeling like this. Maybe I should just end it all so then I dont have to deal with all of this crap.

So I had dinner. Early, but hey, it felt like the right time. 2x cups of broccoli & cauliflower medley (it's what the packet says, I swear), 1x cup of mixed vegetables (peas, carrots, corn beans), 2x slices of bacon. Was. Excellent. I am awesome.

And so far today I have:
-visited probation (and bugged my probation officer for an hour, who is worried about my being high)
-visited New World and bought more junk food
-cooked dinner
-did the few dishes...

I messed up I cut myself alot tonight. I feel so guilty. I have so much going on right now I don't even know how to put it into words all i know is im scared i might not make it through tonight without doing it again.