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Here is a blog about my life
Old

today sucks

Posted October 15th 2014 at 05:43 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

i just found out i got fired from my new job
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trying to be strong
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Old

yesterday

Posted October 8th 2014 at 06:03 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

Yesterday was a shitty day at work i spilled a whole box of fruit on the floor dropped a box on my foot knocked over a shelf of sorbets spilled yogurt all over me messed up a bunch of smoothies and then today my shift got cancelled. the boss is not impressed with me. im scared i might get fired already
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trying to be strong
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Old

things maybe looking up and bad news too

Posted October 6th 2014 at 05:40 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

things might be looking up for me I found a new job i had the interview on the 24 of September around 230pm got the phone call around 430 pm and started the next day i love my job I love my coworkers they are great and really helpful. i know its just a smoothie place but i love it.

On another note my dad was supposed to be sentenced on october 1st this year but he was arrested a few days prior to that for being caught around kids so it was a breach on his probation so the judge...
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Old

just want to die

Posted December 8th 2012 at 03:34 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

I just want to die. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I don't see any point anymore for trying, for talking, for smiling, for breathing, or for living. I don't know what else to do, death seems like my only option. It seems to me like the only way out. I just feel so helpless, worthless, alone and so many other emotions and feelings and stuff. I am just so tired of fighting and of being strong. I just don't want to be here anymore. I just can't handle living anymore. Right now the only thing...
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Old

no title (TRIG)

Posted November 1st 2012 at 04:08 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

I am way in over my head right now with everything i have friend drama going on i have to choose a side cause my friends say if you are friends with her im done being you friend and same for the other one. I have family drama my family hates that i am bisexual they dont accept it and to be honest I rather be dead than have them not accept me. I am failing math i got 28 % on a test. I just feel useless and I feel like I am hanging on to a edge of a cliff by my fingertips and that i will fall off...
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Old

My day so far

Posted October 12th 2012 at 05:48 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

well i missed my bus to school this morning cause I slept in and then I had 7 minutes from the time i got up to eat get dressed and stuff to catch my bus. then I fell down the stairs and got a nose bleed. I am just having a shitty day. I found out i have a math test today which i completly forgot about. today has sucked and it is not even noon yet. I am just at my wits end oh yeah and I also forgot my lunch, and homework assignment for math. and I got mad at someone my guidance counsellor and swore...
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Old

so much (Possibly triggering)

Posted October 11th 2012 at 04:13 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)
Updated October 11th 2012 at 04:39 PM by monkey01 (Adding triggering prefix)

I almost OD last night I wanted to do it so much and i still want to. I have so much going on right now I dont know how to handle it all anymore. killing myself seems like the only way out at the moment. I left history this morning in tears. my guidance counsellor saw me so we rescheduled my appt for today. I might just do it tonite. I just feel so lost so broken hurt worthless and so many other emotions. I just dont know what to do anymore

I am at rock bottom. I need to go cut i...
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Old

I QUIT

Posted October 4th 2012 at 03:51 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)

I fucking quit I am done. I cant do this anymore. I am so sad. I dont know what to do anymore. I just think it would be best if I quit on everything. I dont know what else to do it seems like the only reasonable answer. I cry myself to sleep every night I dont know what else to do. I am sitting here crying in class. I dont find joy in anything anymore. All my friends know there is something wrong but when they ask me I just ignore them. I dont talk much anymore cause I am scared everytime I try...
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Old

Im ready (Possibly triggering)

Posted October 3rd 2012 at 12:04 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)
Updated October 11th 2012 at 06:06 PM by Palmolive (Adding triggering prefix)

I am ready to give up the fight i honestly dont know why or how im still here after last night. I cut so much last night. I was crying and shaking and hyperventilating last night. I hit rock bottom yesterday and i dont nor will i continue on anymore. i cant handle anything anymore. im just done. I cannot do this anymore its either i let myself do it slowly or do it fast and by my own hands. i just feel so alone and so unwanted. i feel dead inside. I AM SO FUCKING DONE.
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Old

cant go on

Posted October 2nd 2012 at 04:47 PM by monkey01 (Chantelle's Blog)
Updated October 2nd 2012 at 05:02 PM by monkey01

I cant go on like this anymore. I am happy on the outside but on the inside I am breaking. I cant go on living like this. I cant go on living period. I am so unhappy. I feel like there is no reason to live anymore. I should just end it all tonight then all my pain will be over cause I just cant do this anymore. I did not go to any of my classes yesterday i sat in the bathroom and cried when my friends saw me I gave them the silent treatment. My guidance counsellor found me in the bathroom and she...
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